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Cheryl Mendoza

How He speaks to me…..Or… can't He just call my cell when He wants to talk?

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Let go and let LOVE……

February 5, 2025

“Simple cures to complex problems are almost always snake oil”.  – Mike Cosper

It was just a couple of days ago I read that statement and it made me stop for a moment to ponder.  I was in the middle of Mike Cosper’s new book, “The Church in Dark Times,”  and while the comment made me stop, I didn’t stop for long. I found the connections interesting that he was seeing between what has been happening in the church and some of the observations of journalist Hannah Arendt. As I thought about the quote from the book, it really brought my mind to the state  of our country, and even our world.  Then out of the recess’ of my mind came a word, or at least a part of a word.  Funny thing was, I couldn’t really remember where the word came from or what it meant? Luckily for me the internet can take half remembered thoughts and provide the information needed.   That thought, is a Gordian Knot. 

It was funny, I had no idea where that came from or what exactly was a Gordian knot?  I was telling Mike about it, and he said we had heard it in a documentary about  Alexander the Great.  So I read more and understood why it came to mind.  This Greek legend in a nutshell is this…. There is an oxcart that is  tied to the palace of the former kings of Phrygia.  It has a storied history and the oxcart itself was dedicated to a Phrygian god.  This oxcart was tied by an elaborate knot that was unable to be untied, and that my friend is the Gordian Knot.  An oracle had proclaimed that any man who could undue the knot, would rule all of Asia.  Centuries passed and the knot was still fully tied.  No one had been able to untie the complicated knot though many had tried in their desire to rule.  Then comes Alexander, not Hamilton, but the Great.  He arrived in Phrygia and immediately wanted to untie the knot.  Now in the end, he was able to get it loosed, and does eventually rule all of Asia.  Hence the moniker…. “the Great”.  

The first version of the legend I read stated that when Alexander came and was unable to unravel the confusing knot, he took out his sword and sliced through it.  “It makes no difference how they are loosed,” he is rumored to have said.  This solution is looked on as “bold or unconventional action taken to remedy a difficult problem”.  And what a story!  There is though another ending, and I was surprised to hear this very different way the story was resolved.   

So in this version, Alexander observes the knot and the complicated structure, and instead of pulling out his sword he takes the time to get a different point of view.  He pulls the lynchpin from the pole that the yoke was fastened, and slides the knot off the pole so he can see the underside.  When he does, he is able to see the ends of the knot and untie it.  Taking the time to see the underside, gave him the ability to untie the knot.

What was so interesting, were the different ways the problem in the story was resolved.   One way shows a decisive, if all be it quick and maybe even brutal decision to slice through the problem.  The opposite solution took the time to look at the problem from all angles.  In doing so, he was able to see a different perspective that revealed the solution.    

So why does this remind me of life today?  Well, as soon as I thought of the knot, I immediately saw it in my mind.  The knot wasn’t made of rope though, it was made of people.  A mass of humanity lumped together so tightly, that they couldn’t be easily separated.  I could see us together, tightly intertwined. Like a cosmic game of twister, with arms, legs and whole bodies entangled with one another.  The knot is uncomfortable and painful even, but why?  

 I wasn’t sure what held the knot together, until a few days later.  I was listening to a podcast, and someone was talking about a study with monkeys. The monkeys were trying to get a snack out of a container, and while they could get their hand in, as soon as they grasped the snack their fist wouldn’t come out.  It was then I wondered if that was what was holding my knot of humanity together?  

We each have our hands around that thing we desire.  It’s in our grip and we won’t let go.  Now they may not necessarily be  bad things, but they are so important that we lose perspective on everything else around us.  We hold on tightly even if it brings pain to ourselves and other people.  

It seems to me, that we all are looking for the same things in life, with minor variations.  Safe neighborhoods, a good education for our children, a place to work that not only fulfills us but actually can pay the bills!  Housing that is clean, safe and affordable, healthcare that you are able to access that won’t break the bank and a city where there are services and events that bring together our diverse communities.  If there is so much common ground, why does this life feel like me vs you so much of the time?

Can our beliefs, point of view or individual experience be more important than someone else’s?  Are those “things” more important than a person?   It seems these days, we’ve put those “things” over real people.  The worst part is we’ve actually let these “things,” and those who talk about them daily, color how we feel about people we know and do life with.  The one who calls you when the dog is loose, or picks up your mail when you’re on vacation.  They are  the people that you work, attend church and do every day life with.  You laugh and cry with them, they are your community.  And we have seen people drop neighbors like “it’s hot” for some talking head on TV.   Shame on “we”! 

Let’s face it, in this world there are even good things that we desire so desperately, that we will allow our good sense to be suspended.  It’s happened before, and because there is nothing new under the sun, it will happen again.  

This knot of humanity is perplexing.  If we look to solve the problem by just slicing through it, we could wreak havoc, and cause repercussions that we can’t even conceive.  Potentially we could create an even more knotted up life in our future.  So, maybe the second ending of Alexander’s story holds a solution. At first I thought so, but now I wonder?   

That second ending seems like a more reasonable way out of the knot, but then my mind goes back to the monkey.  While we like to think the knot is more of a “they” problem than an “us” problem, I really think it’s a “we” problem.  The knot is not only made up of people, but we’re all a part of the knot and many of our actions continue to allow it to grow.  We have made it so tight and now that we’re in it, we won’t make the choice to let it go.  

Alexanders knot had a lot riding on it, but  no one was going to be hurt by either slicing through or carefully unknotting the rope.  Our human knot, well that’s a different story. It’s laced with the hopes and dreams of those who may agree with us, and others with different beliefs.  It’s made up of the lives of our family, friends, strangers and neighbors.   

No matter what style the problem solving takes, the question that really bears asking is….will it last? 

I am beginning to think neither way would solve our knot of people.  As soon as we think we have one section undone, our humanity comes roaring back, and we simply reach out and grasp what we desire.  So my question is this, how is the knot undone and how do we keep it from becoming so twisted and hurtful again?  The solution may seem simple, but it is definitely not snake oil.  

We let go, and we love!

Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And He said to him “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ Upon these two commandments hang the whole Law and the Prophets.”  Matthew 22:36-40

I know it sounds like a Hallmark card, but love IS still the answer.  This is not just any love though, it’s the love that God has for the humans He’s created.  It’s a love that when we accept it, and let it flow through our lives, brings healing into a dying world.  It’s the kind of love that moves you to seek good for the people around you, and may even compel you to lay down your life for others.  It’s the kind of love that gives us the strength to let go!

Letting go is hard though, especially when everyone is holding on so tightly to what they want, need or think they need.  It’s even harder to be the first one to do it!  I think that’s what really holds us back, or on a more personal note, holds me back.  If we all followed these steps, wouldn’t it be a better world?   No one would be in need, because we would each be looking out for each other.  If I am sharing with my neighbor and helping them, and they are doing the same for me, we each would have enough.  “What a wonderful world it would be”….to quote the amazing Louis Armstrong!

Ok… so we are good with the “loving God” part, but it seems we push back on “loving our neighbor.”  We ask ourselves the question, “If I love my neighbor, will my neighbor love me?”  Unfortunately, we think we know the answer to that question already, and only carefully give out this love we’ve been gifted.  So since I don’t trust you to let go, I will keep my own tight grip.  Which leads us back to our Gordian knot.    

Over the last couple of weeks, I have been both up and down as I asked myself these questions.  You see, when I am writing I am not really talking to you.  This is just me wrestling with God.  

As I hear the clanging gong of opinion daily through different outlets, It’s more important than ever to keep my priorities straight.   Each time I hear the noise, it makes me want to shrink further into myself and turn my back on people.  I want to hold tighter to my peace and security.  Most of all, I don’t want to suffer the judgement of others, so I tend to hold tight to my observations.  My hand is in the jar and I don’t want to let go.  You see….I have my own place in the knot.  

So as I was trying to finish this up, I went to church on Sunday and heard a message from John 15:9-17.

“I have loved you even as the Father has loved me. Remain in my love. When you obey my commandments, you remain in my love, just as I obey my Father’s commandments and remain in his love.  I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow!  This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you.  There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.  You are my friends if you do what I command.  I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me.  You didn’t choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name.  This is my command: Love each other.

The sermon was a timely one for me, as it seemed to fit into everything I was wrestling through. The main idea was a simple one, but the simplicity does not detract from its impactful truth.

“Without love we will be lost.” -Chip Bungard

This kind of love is a matter of faith.  Am I really ready to live like Jesus asked us to? Will God protect and provide for my family if I let go, even if others don’t?  I believe that it comes down to trusting God to move things into place, one day at a time. It is truly trusting that the love He brought into this world will transcend anything that is weaponized against it.   And as we trust Him each day, we can let go of the things that hold us back.  Anything that gets in the way of loving others, as God Himself would love them!

A little Sonshine needed…….

So when I woke up this morning, the temperature was at a brisk -10 degrees.  I have never been in weather this cold, so it has been a learning experience to say the least.  For any of you who are concerned, we are snug and warm in our home, with plenty of food and are totally comfortable. (Praise God) 

This is supposed to be the coldest day of the Arctic snap we are going though, and in a few days we will be hitting the 50’s.  So that means the snow will melt and a more normal life will resume with outside temperatures that aren’t a danger to life and limb.  

Funny thing is, as I am sitting here with my blinds shut, I can see that the sun is back and while it seems to be pretty strong, I still can’t open my blinds.  Why?  Well the air temperature  is still too low, and while the blinds may not seem like much, they do insulate against the cold.  The sunlight that comes through those south facing windows typically does a great job of warming up part of the house, but even that warmth is no match for the blistering cold we are experiencing.   

And it reminded me of being in the middle…..and Who is there with me. 

The middle can be a problem, situation, education, transition or anything where you are on a path from one place to another.  From the middle, you can see the “light” at the end of the tunnel, but you just aren’t there yet.  Like me, maybe today you are tempted to cut the journey short, and jump into something that is close to that light?  I really am tempted to open the blinds, because I crave the sunlight that’s waiting outside.  It’s been days since I’ve seen it, and I need me some vitamin D!  I won’t open them though because of the repercussions.  I will be cold!  Then the heater will have to work harder and not only will it cost me more money, but the static electricity will go through the roof and drive me crazy  on a whole other level!  

So I keep my focus on what I know will come, and it’s not sunshine.  My little analogy today is cute….because I can see the end on my weather app.  Most of the time though, we don’t know what the end is going to look like.  How do I keep focus?  

We may throw the dice, but the LORD determines how they fall.  Proverbs 16: 33

Those who listen to instruction will prosper, those who trust the LORD will be joyful.  Proverbs 16:20.   

God reminds me that He is my focus and when I keep Him in sight, He has my back! He’s done it before, and because He does not change, I trust He will do it again!   And when I get out of focus, which I do, He gets my attention to remind me of who He is and how He hasn’t let me down yet! 

So from a chilly place in the middle….. I would encourage you to remember what God has done for you! It will help make the middle a little less chilly…..

Eventually…..

I had a question I needed to ask, but I was a bit scared.  I know…. scared might be a bit overblown, but that’s me!   I think it really came down to the possibility of being disappointed or maybe even hating the answer!  

And lets face it, that’s why most of us don’t ask…. We want our answer, not really the one we may be given.   I eventually knew I had to let go of the outcome and let God handle that, I just had to ask the question. 

And it’s in that word “eventually” where I am amazed.  The wealth of meaning in that little word is huge.  The time I spent in “eventually” was longer than it needed to be.  It was full of realization, wrestling, uncertainty, prayer, irritation and eventually a clear message of “get moving”.  Even when I try to ignore God, He steps in and inserts Himself where I can’t ignore Him.  

So Fridays are such a mellow day, that even in the morning I just want to chill a bit.  So I decided instead of reading my bible, I’d watch HGTV.  And that isn’t holy ghost TV.  

So I start watching some random show that’s doing a remodel of an old home.  The original structure was built in the 1700’s, and through the years a kitchen and carriage house had been added.  The first thing they were doing was opening up walls and flooring.  The structure just didn’t look right, so to figure out how to fix it, they needed to see how it had been built.  He said “There were no building codes.  So it doesn’t mean they didn’t build it right, it’s just that we don’t know how they built it”.   

They didn’t know how they built it?  That statement just stuck with me, because it really played in to the question God had put on my heart.  And with that message I knew that I had to leave the land of “eventually,” and ask my question.  I did… and it was a good conversation.  For me though, it was an even better lesson.  When God gives me a question, task or way to serve Him, He will also give me a way to make whatever I need to do happen.  There is a goal for the rest of the year…. Don’t spend time in “eventually”.  I need to take the advice of the GOAT and JUST DO IT!  And Michael Jordan notwithstanding, I need to rest in the confidence of who God is, and what I know He has already done in my life.  

A prayer for a lifetime

_DSC2940Lord this world needs you.  I need you.  Help me not to react, but to find the path that leads to shalom in my life and in the lives of all.  Today as we think of that day so long ago when You gave us the power to make “Your kingdom come,” help us to not be distracted.  Give us the strength to be a conduit of the Holy Spirit that gives us the power that can change the world.

The angels sang on the day You were born and told the outsider, “Don’t be afraid!”  They made it clear that the redemption you were offering was “GOOD NEWS OF GREAT JOY, FOR ALL PEOPLE.”  Forgive us who call you LORD, but do not proclaim YOUR good news.  Forgive us for muddying the waters.  Let this Pentecost be different.  Help us to lay down our lives (our opinions/rights/our idols)  for our brothers and sisters.  What is done in humble love, though imperfect it may be, will be honored by You….and in that there is HOPE. 

Turned away from it all like a blind man

Sat on a fence but it don’t work

Keep coming up with love but it’s so slashed and torn

Why, why, why?

Love, love, love, love, love

Insanity laughs under pressure we’re breaking

Can’t we give ourselves one more chance?

Why can’t we give love that one more chance?

Why can’t we give love, give love, give love, give love

Give love, give love, give love, give love, give love?

‘Cause love’s such an old fashioned word

And love dares you to care for

The people on the edge of the night

And love dares you to change our way of

Caring about ourselves

This is our last dance

This is our last dance

This is ourselves under pressure

Under pressure

Pressure

Under Pressure….. Queen

Easter: Coffee, jammies and HOPE!

IMG_4885So here we are …. Stuck in the middle again.  I felt like this last year, when Mike was recovering from brain surgery.    Now?  Well there’s nothing like a global pandemic to put life on hold.  But is life really on hold, or has the focus just shifted?   Maybe here in the middle is where we regain perspective? 

 

They were in the middle too that Saturday, but they didn’t know it yet.  They thought it was over, the wise teaching, the healing and the restoration of a nation.  Everything they had been living for was changed in one day.   Continue reading “Easter: Coffee, jammies and HOPE!”

Hosanna?

img_8960So Palm Sunday is typically my favorite Sunday of the whole year.  I think back to spending it with preschoolers and how we would tell them about that special day when Jesus entered Jerusalem.  Making leaves, doing a parade and shouting Hosanna!  For preschoolers, it’s the perfect lesson!  There is a lot of energy, color and activity in the re-telling of the event.  Today though I sit alone in my backyard, missing the energy of the typical Palm Sunday celebrations in church. 

img_8959

I am beginning to think though, that maybe this is how it’s supposed to be?  Instead of songs and shouts of Hosanna, I have wind and rain shouting a chorus.  And while there are no palm fronds, there are the trees in my backyard violently waving their praise!   

While this might not be the Palm Sunday you were imagining, maybe it’s just what you need?  This week as we all move toward a very different Easter, may it be a time of reflection and focus.  A time to look at life and our priorities.  To decide if what we think is important, really IS that important! 

But the wisdom from above is first of all pure.  It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others.  It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds.  It shows no favoritism and is always sincere.  James 3:17

Advent: Rejoice!

dsc_0835-2So it’s Christmas Eve and I am fighting my feelings.  I’m sitting here with my hubby on a quiet evening.  No family…. Not that normal excitement that usually comes with the season.  In some ways it seems kind of sad, but it’s just because things have changed.  Most of the boys are now with significant others and living out of town.  So we spent our “Christmas” together on Saturday, so that they would be with their ladies families on Christmas day.  It was wonderful to be together, but the new normal is taking some getting used to.  It was kind of getting me down having such a quiet Christmas Eve and anticipating the same on Christmas Day.  It didn’t help that I was going to the doctor because I wasn’t feeling well.  Really?  Is this how the holiday is supposed to be?   Continue reading “Advent: Rejoice!”

Remembering…..

What do I want to remember?

IMG_7423I want to remember that in my actions, I sow seeds. They can be seeds that lift a person up, encourage and give strength. Or they can be discouraging, defeating and used to tear down.

I may never see the fruit of those seeds, but that doesn’t mean that there won’t be a result or even a price that’s paid.

I think of those days and the men who lived here, planned and executed evil.  The seeds sown in their lives were ones that exploded in death.

What seeds could have changed that?

Continue reading “Remembering…..”

To laugh or not to laugh….

img_4462It’s Mother’s Day, and I am sitting here listening to Christmas music.  I know it’s crazy, but in some way it brings me comfort. It reminds me that there’s hope for this world.

 

 

It’s been quite a year packed with all sorts of crazy happenings, but also some of the sweetest moments.  And you know, the older I get, the more I see that it all goes hand in hand.  Life, death, pain and pleasure.  Love, fear, failure and triumph.  All these things occupy the same space at the same time, and it’s right that they do so.  It’s not always fun, but it’s the way it happens in this world.

There has been pressure this year.  With tumors, surgeries and unfortunately a lot of 16939225_10211261381504215_4523643083069843847_npain, but as Mike said the other day, “I don’t think I’ve laughed so much.”  It’s pretty weird because we typically laugh a lot!

I think this is the feeling you get when you truly feel loved.  I know about the whole “God so loved the world” thing, but I don’t think I’ve ever come as close to understanding it than I do right now.  We are loved by the Creator of all, and He is on my side.  Our side.  Even while we walk through scary times, I know that His love keeps us safe.  Things aren’t perfect, but I trust Him, and that gives me peace.  Because of that, we look to the future and laugh.  ‘Cuz it’s been mind blowing so far, and we still have a ways to go.

And for the record, I am listening to “Jazz Musicians Christmas” on Pandora….. so it’s not really like listening to Christmas music. IMG_0171Right?

 

 

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