I
wondered if this would be my last post for 2018 or actually be the first of 2019? I have plenty of time to make it before the new year, but I don’t seem to be very focused. Like other times when I am writing, I seem to have a hard time starting. If I can get my brain to relax and just type, then I can actually get something done.
So our Christmas is finally over. It was a weird year, but not in a bad way or anything, just different. We planned to have my extended family down this weekend, so a few of my boys got into town to be here when everyone else was. So for Christmas itself, we were not all together. Since there was only my husband and two of the boys, we hung out and went out for a fabulous dinner. It was fun, but different.
It’s also been a little mellow because my hubby isn’t feeling well. Constant headaches and dizziness are really taking a toll on how he is feeling. So we stayed close to home and just kept a low profile. This weekend though was full of extended family, babies, nieces, nephews and pierogi. While it was kind of hard on my hubby with so many people in the house, I could not have been given a better Christmas present. We typically get together during this time of year, but it’s always somewhere else. This year, they all made the drive to see us. It was great because now I have all those good memories of Christmas fun, in my own home. That was worth everything to me!
I was able to talk to my oldest son for a while last night. We stood outside beneath the stars, wondering at the beauty of the night sky. We talked of the new year and the feeling that something was coming. It was a bit foreboding, but we both agreed that no matter if it’s good or bad in store, God would have our backs.
As I dropped him off at the train station this morning, we somewhat felt the same way, and continued to talk of what the new year would bring. We encouraged each other and then I left him at the station. I started the car and I drove away. The radio was turned all the way down, so I turned it up and had to laugh at the song on that was playing. It was “Faith” by George Michael. It was a reminder that no matter what’s in store, faith was going to get us through. I pulled over so I could text my son right then, and he texted me right back, loving the message in the song. It was then I let him know the very next song….. “I will survive.” And in those lyrics I knew whatever is coming this new year, God already knows and has the way through it.
His response to my second text? “God is the best DJ!” And it’s so true!
“Maybe I am a woman searching for a word?” I love words, so when I heard the line from the movie Eat, Pray, Love….it obviously caught my attention! So on my laptop, I just keep it open to notes, and when things catch my attention I write them down. Sometimes I expand on them, and sometimes I don’t.
The word was Noel. For the past few weeks it had caught my eye in stores, and on cards. As I was out, and when I was in. I heard it on tv and in songs. So being the word nerd I am, I had to look it up!
But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people.” Luke 2:10
I love the fog….it is such a great metaphor. I do hate to drive in it though. The fog we have here in Central California is called Tule Fog, and when it comes in, it can be a nightmare. Yesterday while driving in it, I couldn’t help but think how like life it is. You are going along, going down one path with a destination in mind, but not quite seeing where the road is taking you.
Your own ears will hear him. Right behind you a voice will say,
There is such peace for me in the mornings, especially in the winter. The darkness closes in and envelops everything. It magnifies the feeling of quiet and alone. It’s different in summer and spring. The sun comes up early and gives you the opportunity to get your day started. You see all that needs to be done, and the light says “let’s get to work!” In winter, the darkness speaks to the world in inky blackness, “Sit and ponder,” she says.
You see the problem is, I know my sin, but you may not. I am pretty quiet about it. I mean really…. who wants people to know what they do that misses the mark? Most people I know don’t really want to confront their own sin, let alone have someone else confront it. So why do we feel the need to mention it on Twitter? If you know someone is dealing with something, talk to them about it. Study with them. Love them! If that sin is so grievous to you, meet people where they are. Jesus did! He met people where they were, not after the healing. And when He met them, He brought grace and love. He eventually showed them the sign, but it was after they felt His care for them.
You know the funniest thing about God? He wants to talk to us! I don’t get it…. Why? If I am who I am and He is who He is…. Why is He so big on trying to communicate with me?
I loved it! We women get so many mixed messages, it’s hard to keep our heads on straight. Here was a woman who was trying to really live. Her motivation was not going to be out of a sense of guilt, but out of love. Well for her, the love was for pizza. For me, it is the love of God. Or better put, the way that God loves me.
I struggle with this a lot. While I believe I am so loved, I have a hard time trusting in it. While His love is perfect, our worldly version is not. And that my friends has left a mark. I still chase after it though. I want that kind of freedom! To trust so much in that love, gives me the confidence to become the person He made me to be. The one that’s inside of me. The one that I find it hard to let out. The one who laughs too loud, eats too much, cry’s too easily and doesn’t want to wear a mask. She is kind and just wants to encourage you, whether she knows you or not. She loves Jesus, but she drinks a little. She is scared to be vulnerable with you, because she cares what you think. Her feelings get hurt easily and she lets them hurt. That’s because it’s either hurt or anger, and she never wants the anger to have life. I know I am not the only one who wants this freedom. I see it in myself, and I see it in other women. I see it in the bible.
Where you choose to look, has such an impact on your life. Yesterday, I did not write. I was not up as early as I needed to be, and by the time I got home I was tired. I think I got a little down, and so I got up this morning with purpose to do this morning differently. But… My first thoughts seemed to be all centered around me, (crazy huh?) so I knew I needed to widen my focus.
So this morning, it is time to put on a different lens. I really think I need one with a much wider angle. One that will let me see what’s in the background. The people, activity and the good that He is doing all around me.
“Looking at the man, Jesus felt genuine love for him.”Mark 10:21a.
What about you? What better way to start the day than to be seeking to love one another!
You know, sometimes this writing part of my life is not easy! I try to come up with something interesting, or thought provoking, not preachy and above all not too opinionated. I try to frame what I write as my experience, and hope it either encourages or at least gives someone a different perspective.
phone call I got last night. I am typically the one who is messaging or talking to someone to encourage them, but last night the call was for me. Someone wanted to ask how I was, and check up on me and the family. I appreciated it so much! And at the end she prayed for me, and it was cool because it showed growth in her faith.
Why these two topics together? Well, I guess it’s because I hear much more ”opinion” than encouragement. And since I am like most people, I tend to think we are all looking for more encouragement, love, kindness and lack of judgment than we are looking for another opinion. So today be mindful of the words you say. Be a shoulder to lean on, cry on or just be a good listener. Leave your opinions behind, and see how you can be an encouragement to someone today.
Anyway, as I sat there, in the tiniest seat ever, (ugh) I was struck by a lyric from the song Rhiannon. “Dreams unwind, loves a state of mind.” I am sure I’ve heard that sung a thousand times before, but tonight it kept rolling around in my head. “Dreams unwind, loves a state of mind.” The more I thought about it, the more true I knew it was. 
Cheryl Mendoza 