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Cheryl Mendoza

How He speaks to me…..Or… can't He just call my cell when He wants to talk?

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Love

A hand along the way…..

I saw a Facebook post tonight and it reminded me of something I’d been pondering lately.  The post spoke about this series, “The Chosen,” and how they portrayed the Bible story of the woman who’d been bleeding for 12 years.   Not only has she been physically ill, but because of the bleeding, she would have been considered unclean under the law.  Since she was unclean, that would’ve put actual physical barriers between her and other people.   No one could touch her or anything she had touched because that would make them unclean too.  Over the years she had gone to many doctors and none had made her any better, only worse.   By the time her path crosses Jesus’, she’s been sick for years, she’s broke and desperate.  She’s at the end of her rope and thinks, believes, knows that Jesus is her only answer for healing.  She goes to touch the hem of his robe and miraculously is healed! This is one of my favorite stories as the details paint a beautiful picture of how Jesus relates to the woman.

It was a tweet though that gave me a different perspective.  Someone had wondered about this woman and who would have been the first people after Jesus to speak to her?  Could it be the women who followed along with Jesus?  We have details of multiple women traveling with Him and the disciples during this time.  How would these women have responded to a woman, who because of her sickness, was considered unclean?  I imagined they watched with the rest of the crowd, transfixed as Jesus asked “who touched me?”  They saw as a woman came before Jesus, seeing fear in her face as she told her story.  They then saw Him gently call her daughter, and proclaim her whole!  

As sisters in Christ, we should be walking with each other, ready to come along side and hold out a hand to lift up and encourage.  As daughters, we should be ready to do that with anyone that God brings our way.  In this story it was a woman who was unclean, for us it may be a woman who’s just made the wrong choices for too long a season.  The mercy shown in an outstretched hand may just be what she needs to finally leave that season, and seek something good.  I watched “The Chosen” and could barely wait for the story line to reach this scene.  I quietly sobbed as I watched the show portray the story.  While I might have tweaked it a bit, I was so touched by how it was portrayed.  It confirmed something to me that I had been feeling since the tweet I’d read weeks earlier.  That’s the kind of woman I want to be!  Ready and willing to listen, love and be of service to the women God brings along my path! 

As women, they probably heard and sympathized as they knew what their own monthly bleeding meant and how it affected their lives.   I wonder though, did they pause before approaching her as she was technically unclean?  Was there a barrier in their minds, knowing what the law stated?  They may have paused in their actions, but I like to think that the care Jesus showed this woman, gave them the freedom to know what to do next!  That in the next moment when Jesus was called off to heal a young girl, they stepped forward and kneeled down next to this new sister in faith.  I can imagine they would have been making plans to get her fresh clothes, asking who her family was, and talking excitedly about her restoration to the community and home.   I was struck by the scene as I imagined it, and knew this is how it should be!  

What will you see?

They just won’t see.  It kept rolling around in my head as I drove. It was pretty mellow as  Christmas vacations had started and there were less cars out on the road.  Up ahead though, I could see the flashing lights of the highway patrol, so I slowed down and stayed in the fast lane as the police were off on the right hand side.  As I got closer, I realized there was also a car parked next to the center median.  There had been an accident, and while it wasn’t serious, there were multiple cars and a semi stopped on both sides of the highway.  It was then I looked behind me.  Cars were starting to catch up, and I figured that they just hadn’t seen the wreck yet.  They didn’t know why we were slowing down and taking our time.  As soon as I passed the stopped cars, I got over to the right lane and watched as the cars behind me went past.  Some were like me taking it easy as they passed the wreck, while others were not being so careful.  They were driving as if the road was clear and they were not navigating an accident scene.  It was then that I thought, even with it right in their face, they just won’t see. It’s not that they can’t see, since by this time they were right in the middle of all the cars involved, but they won’t see.  It broke my heart, as I was immediately thought about God and how He shows Himself to each of us.  We see the miracle of this life, but do not see who created the miracle.  It’s not that we can’t see, we just won’t see! 

I thought about it again when I started listening to a book at lunch.  The first story in the book had me hooked immediately, since it’s a favorite historical moment of mine.  The quick version?  Well it’s 1914 and it’s Christmas Eve.  You know that war that was supposed to be over by Christmas?  Well, it wasn’t.  The men on the front lines are missing home, family and their own Christmas traditions.  During this evening and through Christmas Day, the men reach out to each other to “celebrate” Christmas.  It starts slowly, but soon they are exchanging food, cigarettes, playing football  (the English kind) and sharing photos of their loved ones back home.   That night, the men were given a reprieve from this new kind of nightmare.  The mechanized muddy stalemate of men and modern warfare.  For that short time, fear, hate, and the horrors of war were defeated by something greater.  The birth of a Savior!   When the powers that be on all sides found out about what occurred in the trenches, they vow that this will not happen again.  And it never did.   That moment on the battlefield where mercy and grace won out over hate was not allowed to be repeated.  Those in charge were much like the drivers on the road, they just won’t see.  Instead of seeing the miracle of the day, and acknowledging the power of the birth narrative, they doubled down on death.  

I love the truth in the story, because it shows the heavenly in sharp contrast to our humanity.  The human part of the story is full of war, death and brutality.  The heavenly part was what brought them together, the birth of Christ!  When I hear the story of that Christmas in 1914, I always think of the shepherds in the birth narrative.  Did the angels come to see them on purpose?  Or was the jubilation in heaven so boisterous that it spilled out into the night sky!  Even the heavens couldn’t contain the excitement over the fulfillment of this very special prophecy!   Someone left the back door of heaven open, and there were the shepherds watching in amazement! Maybe that’s what happened to the soldiers on that cold December night?  The back door of heaven opened, and mercy flowed from a gracious Heavenly Father.  The men didn’t see angels, but the Spirit was there.  Like the wind, it wasn’t visible, but history shows us the effect of the Spirit’s presence.   On that Christmas Eve, the same celebration that happened so many years ago was again awakened to overcome fear and death.  For those brief hours kindness, grace and mercy flowed straight from the throne of God.  

Lord I know we all have eyes that can see, but I ask you to give us eyes that WILL see! 

A prayer for a lifetime

_DSC2940Lord this world needs you.  I need you.  Help me not to react, but to find the path that leads to shalom in my life and in the lives of all.  Today as we think of that day so long ago when You gave us the power to make “Your kingdom come,” help us to not be distracted.  Give us the strength to be a conduit of the Holy Spirit that gives us the power that can change the world.

The angels sang on the day You were born and told the outsider, “Don’t be afraid!”  They made it clear that the redemption you were offering was “GOOD NEWS OF GREAT JOY, FOR ALL PEOPLE.”  Forgive us who call you LORD, but do not proclaim YOUR good news.  Forgive us for muddying the waters.  Let this Pentecost be different.  Help us to lay down our lives (our opinions/rights/our idols)  for our brothers and sisters.  What is done in humble love, though imperfect it may be, will be honored by You….and in that there is HOPE. 

Turned away from it all like a blind man

Sat on a fence but it don’t work

Keep coming up with love but it’s so slashed and torn

Why, why, why?

Love, love, love, love, love

Insanity laughs under pressure we’re breaking

Can’t we give ourselves one more chance?

Why can’t we give love that one more chance?

Why can’t we give love, give love, give love, give love

Give love, give love, give love, give love, give love?

‘Cause love’s such an old fashioned word

And love dares you to care for

The people on the edge of the night

And love dares you to change our way of

Caring about ourselves

This is our last dance

This is our last dance

This is ourselves under pressure

Under pressure

Pressure

Under Pressure….. Queen

Remembering…..

What do I want to remember?

IMG_7423I want to remember that in my actions, I sow seeds. They can be seeds that lift a person up, encourage and give strength. Or they can be discouraging, defeating and used to tear down.

I may never see the fruit of those seeds, but that doesn’t mean that there won’t be a result or even a price that’s paid.

I think of those days and the men who lived here, planned and executed evil.  The seeds sown in their lives were ones that exploded in death.

What seeds could have changed that?

Continue reading “Remembering…..”

The Mystery of it all…..

We had visitors and commitments this past weekend. While it is good to see people, it was even better when we were alone and driving up into the mountains.  Ok… well the foothills at least.  We went to one of our favorites spots, and I couldn’t believe the changes.  It was the last place we visited right before Mike’s surgery and it was his first solo drive after.  So much though had changed.

Where we typically go is more like a creek than a lake.  Monday though, it was definitely a lake!  We’ve been going to this spot for the past few years now, and I’d never seen it so full! Beautiful water!  I guess we aren’t in a drought any more.  We typically climb down from the parking lot and explore a bit, but today it was all under many feet of water.  So we found a spot, and just sat.  The surroundings had drastically changed, and so had we.

60874093_10217777558244561_7147374966990700544_n Continue reading “The Mystery of it all…..”

To laugh or not to laugh….

img_4462It’s Mother’s Day, and I am sitting here listening to Christmas music.  I know it’s crazy, but in some way it brings me comfort. It reminds me that there’s hope for this world.

 

 

It’s been quite a year packed with all sorts of crazy happenings, but also some of the sweetest moments.  And you know, the older I get, the more I see that it all goes hand in hand.  Life, death, pain and pleasure.  Love, fear, failure and triumph.  All these things occupy the same space at the same time, and it’s right that they do so.  It’s not always fun, but it’s the way it happens in this world.

There has been pressure this year.  With tumors, surgeries and unfortunately a lot of 16939225_10211261381504215_4523643083069843847_npain, but as Mike said the other day, “I don’t think I’ve laughed so much.”  It’s pretty weird because we typically laugh a lot!

I think this is the feeling you get when you truly feel loved.  I know about the whole “God so loved the world” thing, but I don’t think I’ve ever come as close to understanding it than I do right now.  We are loved by the Creator of all, and He is on my side.  Our side.  Even while we walk through scary times, I know that His love keeps us safe.  Things aren’t perfect, but I trust Him, and that gives me peace.  Because of that, we look to the future and laugh.  ‘Cuz it’s been mind blowing so far, and we still have a ways to go.

And for the record, I am listening to “Jazz Musicians Christmas” on Pandora….. so it’s not really like listening to Christmas music. IMG_0171Right?

 

 

Laughing all the way to the…hospital?

whiskey-typewriter-shutterstock-570x380So day 2 is always hard.  I always wonder, what will I write about now?  I also feel behind the eight ball because I am tired. Taking care of someone can be tiring. Part of it is physical, but it’s also a mental tired.  Since I tend to overthink things, I am sure that is a lot of it!  There is a spiritual aspect to it too.  The word “spiritual” makes it sound very serious, but it really hasn’t felt that way.

The spiritual in our journey has included a lot of laughter.  Just to give you a little background, my hubby started having headaches that progressively became worse over the last half of 2018.  He never really had headaches as a rule, so we felt that something was up.  He started missing out on work, and it was really affecting how he was able to live his life.  To see him get weaker and become a bit like a little old man, it was hard to watch.  So you can imagine the excitement when we had a diagnosis.  A brain tumor?  All right! And he can have surgery? Fantastic!

red ribbon on brown cardboard box
Photo by Negative Space on Pexels.com

I can remember watching his face as he talked with the doctor that Saturday morning.  It lit up like Christmas!  We had just been given a present.  It was hope!  With that hope, what was ahead held no concern. We knew that it was all out of our hands, so we rested in those who took care of him.  The nurses, doctors and God.

 

At some point I thought of the verse that is quoted so often, “peace that passes all understanding.”  At that point I totally got it.  I mean really, brain surgery?  This is serious stuff, but we wanted it!  We had peace though, and I really didn’t understand how we could be feeling that way?  I didn’t argue though, it was a place I was glad to be.

IMG_7989The neurologist gave us an idea to fastrack the whole thing.  So he called a doctor at the local emergency room to get us in.  My hubby was so excited, we would go to the ER and they would transfer us to a larger hospital.  It would be there that they would see the big mass in his head and they may even do surgery this weekend.  Isn’t it great?  There was not one tear, one moment of hesitation or fear.  We looked at each other shook our heads with smiles on our faces.

It wasn’t long till we got ready and were walking up to the emergency room.  Before we got in I asked my hubby, “who are we supposed to see?”  He looked at me with a smile and said, “Doctor Martin.” When I heard that we both started laughing and I knew it was going to be all right.    Doc Martin is a TV show we watch, and the doctor is such a character!  And of course as soon as the doctor came in we had to greet him as “Doc Martin.”  The doctor laughed…..he knew exactly who we were talking about!  I always knew God had a great sense of humor and today He proved it again!

Advent: Noel….

IMG_7016“Maybe I am a woman searching for a word?”  I love words, so when I heard the line from the movie Eat, Pray, Love….it obviously caught my attention!  So on my laptop, I just keep it open to notes, and when things catch my attention I write them down.  Sometimes I expand on them, and sometimes I don’t.

So it is early Christmas morning and I tried to get up before the whole household to write a post.   It didn’t work.  Ugh!  So after they were settled in with some coffee, I started writing about the fog again.  I guess I really do have it on the brain!  As I was trying to put some thoughts together, I read it again.  “Maybe I am a woman searching for a word?” and right below where I had written that, was a word.  I started laughing…. Really?  It had been there all the time, but it was like I had only just saw it.

IMG_7838The word was Noel.  For the past few weeks it had caught my eye in stores, and on cards.  As I was out, and when I was in.  I heard it on tv and in songs.  So being the word nerd I am, I had to look it up!

A noel is a Christmas carol, but if the word is capitalized, then it refers to Christmastime or the celebration of the birth of Christ.  There is a reverence to the word, and a spirit about it.  Maybe I think that because it is a French word?  Just sounds so cool!  Christmas is such a special time.  As someone who believes the whole “reason for the season” thing, I am struck by the spirit around Christmastime.  I know, I know….there is a lot of stress, sadness, and unmet expectations during this time.  But…there is a general sense of fun, wonder, and joy that surrounds Christmas.  I think that the spirit of God, just can’t be contained!  Just like the angels on the night of His birth.  Heaven could not contain the party, and I think it’s the same today.

So today, it you celebrate the birth of Christ….then CELEBRATE!  Don’t hold back!  The angels couldn’t contain themselves and we shouldn’t either.  So eat, drink and be merry!  Love today.  People you know, and those you don’t.  Be silly, fun, and give grace.  And did I say LOVE?  Because the bumper sticker on your car, the cross around your neck, the book in your hand and where you sit on a Sunday morning says nothing about God.  But when you love?  That is how the world will see Him!  The only way.

images-1 But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people.” Luke 2:10

 

Advent: Freedom…..

whiskey-typewriter-shutterstock-570x380You know the funniest thing about God?  He wants to talk to us!  I don’t get it…. Why?  If I am who I am and He is who He is…. Why is He so big on trying to communicate with me?

He will speak to me anywhere.  I have a tendency to pop the TV on during my quiet time on a Friday. Funny thing is, whatever I watch, I tend to get something more than I bargained FOR.  Kinda like God won’t let Himself be silenced, even if I am slacking.

This morning I caught a few minutes of “Eat, Pray, Love.”  Now I’ve never seen this whole movie, but I was drawn to the setting and the food they were eating.  As I watched, I got  caught up in the conversations of the characters.  The lead character is eating her way through Italy (dream!) and she says, “I am through with the guilt.”

UnknownI loved it!  We women get so many mixed messages, it’s hard to keep our heads on straight.   Here was a woman who was trying to really live.  Her motivation was not going to be out of a sense of guilt, but out of love. Well for her, the love was for pizza. For me, it is the love of God.  Or better put, the way that God loves me.

If I look to see how I am loved, it is totally, fully and in the complete knowledge of who I am.  There are no secrets between Him and I, He knows it all.  The good, bad and ugly to borrow a phrase.  Even that full knowledge doesn’t dissuade Him from loving me. That is the kind of love that gives a person freedom.

UnknownI struggle with this a lot.  While I believe I am so loved, I have a hard time trusting in it.  While His love is perfect, our worldly version is not.  And that my friends has left a mark.  I still chase after it though.  I want that kind of freedom!  To trust so much in that love, gives me the confidence to become the person He made me to be.  The one that’s inside of me.  The one that I find it hard to let out. The one who laughs too loud, eats too much, cry’s too easily and doesn’t want to wear a mask.  She is kind and just wants to encourage you, whether she knows you or not.  She loves Jesus, but she drinks a little.  She is scared to be vulnerable with you, because she cares what you think.  Her feelings get hurt easily and she lets them hurt.  That’s because it’s either hurt or anger, and she never wants the anger to have life.  I know I am not the only one who wants this freedom.  I see it in myself, and I see it in other women.  I see it in the bible.

 

I was reading about the woman Jesus met by a well.  I see it in her.  When she is face to face with that kind of love, she can’t help but let everyone know.  It doesn’t matter that Jesus knew all about her life, her husbands and the man she was living with.  That love gave her a different perspective.  That Love gave her freedom!!

images-7

So here is to perfect LOVE that gives freedom and the amazing life that comes from it!

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