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Cheryl Mendoza

How He speaks to me…..Or… can't He just call my cell when He wants to talk?

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Women

A hand along the way…..

I saw a Facebook post tonight and it reminded me of something I’d been pondering lately.  The post spoke about this series, “The Chosen,” and how they portrayed the Bible story of the woman who’d been bleeding for 12 years.   Not only has she been physically ill, but because of the bleeding, she would have been considered unclean under the law.  Since she was unclean, that would’ve put actual physical barriers between her and other people.   No one could touch her or anything she had touched because that would make them unclean too.  Over the years she had gone to many doctors and none had made her any better, only worse.   By the time her path crosses Jesus’, she’s been sick for years, she’s broke and desperate.  She’s at the end of her rope and thinks, believes, knows that Jesus is her only answer for healing.  She goes to touch the hem of his robe and miraculously is healed! This is one of my favorite stories as the details paint a beautiful picture of how Jesus relates to the woman.

It was a tweet though that gave me a different perspective.  Someone had wondered about this woman and who would have been the first people after Jesus to speak to her?  Could it be the women who followed along with Jesus?  We have details of multiple women traveling with Him and the disciples during this time.  How would these women have responded to a woman, who because of her sickness, was considered unclean?  I imagined they watched with the rest of the crowd, transfixed as Jesus asked “who touched me?”  They saw as a woman came before Jesus, seeing fear in her face as she told her story.  They then saw Him gently call her daughter, and proclaim her whole!  

As sisters in Christ, we should be walking with each other, ready to come along side and hold out a hand to lift up and encourage.  As daughters, we should be ready to do that with anyone that God brings our way.  In this story it was a woman who was unclean, for us it may be a woman who’s just made the wrong choices for too long a season.  The mercy shown in an outstretched hand may just be what she needs to finally leave that season, and seek something good.  I watched “The Chosen” and could barely wait for the story line to reach this scene.  I quietly sobbed as I watched the show portray the story.  While I might have tweaked it a bit, I was so touched by how it was portrayed.  It confirmed something to me that I had been feeling since the tweet I’d read weeks earlier.  That’s the kind of woman I want to be!  Ready and willing to listen, love and be of service to the women God brings along my path! 

As women, they probably heard and sympathized as they knew what their own monthly bleeding meant and how it affected their lives.   I wonder though, did they pause before approaching her as she was technically unclean?  Was there a barrier in their minds, knowing what the law stated?  They may have paused in their actions, but I like to think that the care Jesus showed this woman, gave them the freedom to know what to do next!  That in the next moment when Jesus was called off to heal a young girl, they stepped forward and kneeled down next to this new sister in faith.  I can imagine they would have been making plans to get her fresh clothes, asking who her family was, and talking excitedly about her restoration to the community and home.   I was struck by the scene as I imagined it, and knew this is how it should be!  

What will you see?

They just won’t see.  It kept rolling around in my head as I drove. It was pretty mellow as  Christmas vacations had started and there were less cars out on the road.  Up ahead though, I could see the flashing lights of the highway patrol, so I slowed down and stayed in the fast lane as the police were off on the right hand side.  As I got closer, I realized there was also a car parked next to the center median.  There had been an accident, and while it wasn’t serious, there were multiple cars and a semi stopped on both sides of the highway.  It was then I looked behind me.  Cars were starting to catch up, and I figured that they just hadn’t seen the wreck yet.  They didn’t know why we were slowing down and taking our time.  As soon as I passed the stopped cars, I got over to the right lane and watched as the cars behind me went past.  Some were like me taking it easy as they passed the wreck, while others were not being so careful.  They were driving as if the road was clear and they were not navigating an accident scene.  It was then that I thought, even with it right in their face, they just won’t see. It’s not that they can’t see, since by this time they were right in the middle of all the cars involved, but they won’t see.  It broke my heart, as I was immediately thought about God and how He shows Himself to each of us.  We see the miracle of this life, but do not see who created the miracle.  It’s not that we can’t see, we just won’t see! 

I thought about it again when I started listening to a book at lunch.  The first story in the book had me hooked immediately, since it’s a favorite historical moment of mine.  The quick version?  Well it’s 1914 and it’s Christmas Eve.  You know that war that was supposed to be over by Christmas?  Well, it wasn’t.  The men on the front lines are missing home, family and their own Christmas traditions.  During this evening and through Christmas Day, the men reach out to each other to “celebrate” Christmas.  It starts slowly, but soon they are exchanging food, cigarettes, playing football  (the English kind) and sharing photos of their loved ones back home.   That night, the men were given a reprieve from this new kind of nightmare.  The mechanized muddy stalemate of men and modern warfare.  For that short time, fear, hate, and the horrors of war were defeated by something greater.  The birth of a Savior!   When the powers that be on all sides found out about what occurred in the trenches, they vow that this will not happen again.  And it never did.   That moment on the battlefield where mercy and grace won out over hate was not allowed to be repeated.  Those in charge were much like the drivers on the road, they just won’t see.  Instead of seeing the miracle of the day, and acknowledging the power of the birth narrative, they doubled down on death.  

I love the truth in the story, because it shows the heavenly in sharp contrast to our humanity.  The human part of the story is full of war, death and brutality.  The heavenly part was what brought them together, the birth of Christ!  When I hear the story of that Christmas in 1914, I always think of the shepherds in the birth narrative.  Did the angels come to see them on purpose?  Or was the jubilation in heaven so boisterous that it spilled out into the night sky!  Even the heavens couldn’t contain the excitement over the fulfillment of this very special prophecy!   Someone left the back door of heaven open, and there were the shepherds watching in amazement! Maybe that’s what happened to the soldiers on that cold December night?  The back door of heaven opened, and mercy flowed from a gracious Heavenly Father.  The men didn’t see angels, but the Spirit was there.  Like the wind, it wasn’t visible, but history shows us the effect of the Spirit’s presence.   On that Christmas Eve, the same celebration that happened so many years ago was again awakened to overcome fear and death.  For those brief hours kindness, grace and mercy flowed straight from the throne of God.  

Lord I know we all have eyes that can see, but I ask you to give us eyes that WILL see! 

Eventually…..

I had a question I needed to ask, but I was a bit scared.  I know…. scared might be a bit overblown, but that’s me!   I think it really came down to the possibility of being disappointed or maybe even hating the answer!  

And lets face it, that’s why most of us don’t ask…. We want our answer, not really the one we may be given.   I eventually knew I had to let go of the outcome and let God handle that, I just had to ask the question. 

And it’s in that word “eventually” where I am amazed.  The wealth of meaning in that little word is huge.  The time I spent in “eventually” was longer than it needed to be.  It was full of realization, wrestling, uncertainty, prayer, irritation and eventually a clear message of “get moving”.  Even when I try to ignore God, He steps in and inserts Himself where I can’t ignore Him.  

So Fridays are such a mellow day, that even in the morning I just want to chill a bit.  So I decided instead of reading my bible, I’d watch HGTV.  And that isn’t holy ghost TV.  

So I start watching some random show that’s doing a remodel of an old home.  The original structure was built in the 1700’s, and through the years a kitchen and carriage house had been added.  The first thing they were doing was opening up walls and flooring.  The structure just didn’t look right, so to figure out how to fix it, they needed to see how it had been built.  He said “There were no building codes.  So it doesn’t mean they didn’t build it right, it’s just that we don’t know how they built it”.   

They didn’t know how they built it?  That statement just stuck with me, because it really played in to the question God had put on my heart.  And with that message I knew that I had to leave the land of “eventually,” and ask my question.  I did… and it was a good conversation.  For me though, it was an even better lesson.  When God gives me a question, task or way to serve Him, He will also give me a way to make whatever I need to do happen.  There is a goal for the rest of the year…. Don’t spend time in “eventually”.  I need to take the advice of the GOAT and JUST DO IT!  And Michael Jordan notwithstanding, I need to rest in the confidence of who God is, and what I know He has already done in my life.  

Ready to soar in 2020

I was able to talk to my oldest son for a while last night.  We stood outside beneath the stars, wondering at the beauty of the night sky.  We talked of the new year and the feeling that something was coming.  It was a bit foreboding, but we both agreed that no matter if it’s good or bad in store, God would have our backs.

Those were the words I wrote on December 31, 2018, and how prophetic they would turn out to be.  So in the few weeks following, my hubby endured more pain, doctor visits and the diagnosis that would change everything.  Brain tumor.  Even now when we hear the words we shake our heads in disbelief and laugh.

imagesNow that it’s (mostly) behind us, we are looking forward to the new year more than we typically do.  Mike is looking forward to regaining strength and feeling more like his normal self.  I am looking forward to …. well I am not sure what?  Don’t get me wrong… for Mike I am praying for excellent recovery, and for the boys that they would continue to make strides forward in their lives.  Above all that they…….that we all would be able to know God’s presence.  But while I felt foreboding last year, I am not sure what I feel this December 31st?  It’s definitely not the same heaviness as last year, but it’s also not the normal New Years day feeling. Continue reading “Ready to soar in 2020”

The Mystery of it all…..

We had visitors and commitments this past weekend. While it is good to see people, it was even better when we were alone and driving up into the mountains.  Ok… well the foothills at least.  We went to one of our favorites spots, and I couldn’t believe the changes.  It was the last place we visited right before Mike’s surgery and it was his first solo drive after.  So much though had changed.

Where we typically go is more like a creek than a lake.  Monday though, it was definitely a lake!  We’ve been going to this spot for the past few years now, and I’d never seen it so full! Beautiful water!  I guess we aren’t in a drought any more.  We typically climb down from the parking lot and explore a bit, but today it was all under many feet of water.  So we found a spot, and just sat.  The surroundings had drastically changed, and so had we.

60874093_10217777558244561_7147374966990700544_n Continue reading “The Mystery of it all…..”

….isn’t written yet!

“So don’t make judgments about anyone ahead of time, before the Lord returns.”   ! Corinthians 4:6

UnknownI’ve said it a bit recently to those around me, “it’s not how you start, but how you finish.”  And don’t get me wrong…. It’s easier to finish well when you get out of the blocks cleanly.

We judge a person on today or their past, but we have no idea of their future and where that will lead.  The choices, experiences and people that will all come together to make a complete picture in a life.

 

I know it’s hard, but as I read the verse this morning I wondered if we judge in life, when we should just have discernment?  So I got out the old dictionary and looked at the difference between judge and discern.

Basically, discern is to recognize something as opposed to judging where you form a conclusion about it.  I mean, I can discern that someone else is doing something that is harmful or full out wrong.  I can then take steps to not be harmed by these actions, but I just can’t pronounce judgement.  The end isn’t written yet!  If I do judge, does that contribute to an environment that pushes them towards a not so good result?

I am not sure….but it makes me think?  There have been people in my life that haveIMG_5237 judged me prematurely, and I think there has been a bit of an impact.  I am grateful though for those who have been on the other side.  The one’s that have given me the chance to change, grow and mature.  Those are the ones that didn’t write me off, but gave me the time, love and encouragement to fulfill the potential they saw and hoped to see bloom.

Good or bad….with Hope!

3D man near red question mark

So it’s so hard to be me sometimes.  It must be even harder to be my hubby, having to put up with me!  I have a tendency to ponder things.  Ok, I tend to ponder EVERYTHING!    I think it’s irritating sometimes, but it’s who I am and so I try to embrace it.

I was sitting in church the on Sunday, and we were looking in the book of Revelation.  The imagery in the book is always a pretty trippy experience, but of course it got me to thinking?  I know…..what doesn’t get me thinking?

In a nutshell, we have John seeing into heaven and he’s upset because this important scroll can’t be opened.   What does the scroll contain?  Of course there are some very good educated answers, but what made me think was John’s reaction.  Why would he be so upset?  Did he know what was in the scroll?  I am not sure, but what I do know is that, because there was no one worthy he was distraught. He lacked hope.

“We have hope….rebellions are built on hope!”  Jyn Erso “Rogue One”

Yep, the geek came out of me at that point and all I could think of was the quote from the movie Rogue One.  Oh, and my hubby.  You see when he got the phone call from the doctor, his reaction was pretty funny.  He was so happy!  He was smiling and talking excitedly!  I could hardly believe I was looking at a person who’d just been told they have a brain tumor!   It was crazy, but I realized that the excitement on his face was what that diagnosis really meant for him. Hope!  He was in a bad place, as the pain became progressively worse in the past couple of months.  It didn’t help that he was frustrated by not being able to work a full day, his deteriorating eyesight and trying to find a doctor who could help him.  It was the holidays, but it was hard to find the “happy” during that time.  So with the diagnosis, everything changed.

Hope is such a powerful thing.  It can take the gravest of circumstances and give you a different perspective.  It gives you the strength to move forward, and face what you never thought you could. Hope is a beautiful thing!

There is of course a caveat to hope…you need to be careful where you put it.  Let me be clear, at this point my hope was not in the doctor, not in the diagnosis or whether it was cancer or not.  There was only one place where I could truly put my hope, and know that I would never be let down.  And that was in the Lord.  I knew at that time, no matter what happened, from the best outcome to the worst we would be OK.  We would survive!  I knew that because of how God had provided for our lives in the past, and from what I knew He had told me about the future.   It was actually the first thing I wrote about this year, https://cherylmendoza.com/2019/01/01/new-year-same-playlist/.

brown valley during a grey cloudy sky
Photo by Josh Sorenson on Pexels.com

We are still not done with the process.  My hubby is still recovering and will have radiation later this year, so this chapter of our story is still being written. Even so, before we were out of the hospital we were making plans.  New places to visit, a family wedding, concert tickets bought and a much more “happy” holiday season.

We look forward to it all, good and bad, with hope!

Advent: Freedom…..

whiskey-typewriter-shutterstock-570x380You know the funniest thing about God?  He wants to talk to us!  I don’t get it…. Why?  If I am who I am and He is who He is…. Why is He so big on trying to communicate with me?

He will speak to me anywhere.  I have a tendency to pop the TV on during my quiet time on a Friday. Funny thing is, whatever I watch, I tend to get something more than I bargained FOR.  Kinda like God won’t let Himself be silenced, even if I am slacking.

This morning I caught a few minutes of “Eat, Pray, Love.”  Now I’ve never seen this whole movie, but I was drawn to the setting and the food they were eating.  As I watched, I got  caught up in the conversations of the characters.  The lead character is eating her way through Italy (dream!) and she says, “I am through with the guilt.”

UnknownI loved it!  We women get so many mixed messages, it’s hard to keep our heads on straight.   Here was a woman who was trying to really live.  Her motivation was not going to be out of a sense of guilt, but out of love. Well for her, the love was for pizza. For me, it is the love of God.  Or better put, the way that God loves me.

If I look to see how I am loved, it is totally, fully and in the complete knowledge of who I am.  There are no secrets between Him and I, He knows it all.  The good, bad and ugly to borrow a phrase.  Even that full knowledge doesn’t dissuade Him from loving me. That is the kind of love that gives a person freedom.

UnknownI struggle with this a lot.  While I believe I am so loved, I have a hard time trusting in it.  While His love is perfect, our worldly version is not.  And that my friends has left a mark.  I still chase after it though.  I want that kind of freedom!  To trust so much in that love, gives me the confidence to become the person He made me to be.  The one that’s inside of me.  The one that I find it hard to let out. The one who laughs too loud, eats too much, cry’s too easily and doesn’t want to wear a mask.  She is kind and just wants to encourage you, whether she knows you or not.  She loves Jesus, but she drinks a little.  She is scared to be vulnerable with you, because she cares what you think.  Her feelings get hurt easily and she lets them hurt.  That’s because it’s either hurt or anger, and she never wants the anger to have life.  I know I am not the only one who wants this freedom.  I see it in myself, and I see it in other women.  I see it in the bible.

 

I was reading about the woman Jesus met by a well.  I see it in her.  When she is face to face with that kind of love, she can’t help but let everyone know.  It doesn’t matter that Jesus knew all about her life, her husbands and the man she was living with.  That love gave her a different perspective.  That Love gave her freedom!!

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So here is to perfect LOVE that gives freedom and the amazing life that comes from it!

Advent: Being mindful….

images-2You know, sometimes this writing part of my life is not easy!  I try to come up with something interesting, or thought provoking, not preachy and above all not too opinionated.  I try to frame what I write as my experience, and hope it either encourages or at least gives someone a different perspective.

It is hard though, because I am pretty opinionated.   I’d like to think that I have some pretty good ideas, because I have common sense, and in some ways I am pretty smart.  So I am thinking my opinions are wise…. Right?   Also, according to my pastor since I am so old, I am a good mentor figure.  (that kills me)

Well over the last few years as social media has exploded, I am less and less impressed with my own opinion.  Why?  Because I am so tired of hearing everyone else’s, I can imagine how people feel hearing mine.  I am lucky though, as I have an easier time holding my tongue than others do.  (don’t get me wrong, I came by this trait the hard way.  But God has taken hurt and made it into a useful part of my life.)

Why did I bring this up?  I really don’t know….I just started writing?  I guess it was the imagesphone call I got last night.  I am typically the one who is messaging or talking to someone to encourage them, but last night the call was for me.  Someone wanted to ask how I was, and check up on me and the family. I appreciated it so much!  And at the end she prayed for me, and it was cool because it showed growth in her faith.

 

 

_DSC9219Why these two topics together?  Well, I guess it’s because I hear much more ”opinion” than encouragement. And since I am like most people, I tend to think we are all looking for more encouragement, love, kindness and lack of judgment than we are looking for another opinion.  So today be mindful of the words you say.  Be a shoulder to lean on, cry on or just be a good listener. Leave your opinions behind, and see how you can be an encouragement to someone today.

Was that a little preachy?  Not sure…… will try better tomorrow.

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