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Cheryl Mendoza

How He speaks to me…..Or… can't He just call my cell when He wants to talk?

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Encouragement

This season’s pain.

It was early when I arrived. The doors weren’t even open yet, but I waited. I knew she would come soon. It is not many times that I beat the woman to her shop. She is usually there with her hair in a bun wrapped up in a net, smelling of yeast and sugar. I can barely stand the smell, but it is the food imageshe has for me that I am waiting for. The crumbly hard shapes that fill my stomach and nourish me. It is not what I am used to, nor is it the way my story started. I once had a home, a place where I belonged. I was born there, I lived and was happy. The change happened so abruptly, as if it was a dream. One day I was beloved in a happy family, and the next I was a wandering soul enduring the heat and unknown. I am growing accustomed to my new life. It is not without peace, but it is just hard. Trying to find food, water, shelter and protection from the world. I used to have that, before that day, and I hope to find that again. Each new day is a victory, it means that I have survived to see another sunrise. It means that the memories of the goodness of life, have not been overshadowed by the pain. With each new sunrise comes the newest opportunity to be strong, to love and to show others that they can survive this life too.

She is here, and I am fed. Together we start a new day.

My husband has become obsessed with his camera, and had taken some pictures the other day in our small town.  Someone wanted to know the story behind the pictures, so I jokingly started writing about the cat and how she had lost her home.  By the time I was done though, I knew I was not writing about the cat any more.  I was thinking about the headlines of the day, and the young woman who has been subjected to more than anyone should in a lifetime.  I pray that her good memories, and her future are not overshadowed by this seasons pain.  That she would find healing, and  strength in her most important label, child of God.  

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Tapping out a thankful tune!

So am I ready to tap or what?  This is something that I think I have always wanted to do, but hadn’t.  So here in the blogospere where I can be honest and live fully as myself, I am ready.   There are different DIY tap boards on the internet, so I had a pretty good idea of what I would need to make one.  I then watched a couple of videos from people who made one, and thought putting it together looked pretty easy.  To make it even less expensive, they suggested going to a home improvement store and seeing if there was flooring that you could buy cheap.  I googled the foam flooring needed and I was happy to see that it was inexpensive, but when I got thinking about the wood flooring an idea popped into my head.  I remembered that my sister had done some new flooring in her home not too long ago, so I texted and asked if she had some leftover pieces?  She did!   We were going to visit her, so I told her I would talk with her when I got there.  How great is that?

It was a boost that I needed, because our finances have been on my mind a lot lately. As of the end of the month, I am officially unemployed.  So now that the time has come, I am starting to wonder about our needs and how we are going to adjust our lifestyle when we are back to one income.  I have worked for the same company for the last 7 years, and so leaving was a hard decision, but it was a decision I felt compelled to do.  It was a new direction that God was prompting me to follow and I felt that the time had finally come.  So for that reason, provision has been on my mind.  What was encouraging to me was God using this tap dance “storyline” to not only teach me about myself, but to provide everything needed without having to spend a bunch of money. Again, it is a simple thing, but it was a reminder to me of who God is and how He works.

I gave a month’s notice, so I was doing pretty good until the month was almost done.  It was then that I started to stress.  I was wondering how I could make some extra cash, even before I was in the situation where it was needed.  I was getting ahead of God.  When I realized that, I tried to relax.  I thought back to the many times before when He had come through.  God has a bunch of different names in the bible, but my favorite is Jehovah Jireh.  It means the Lord provides.  I had to remember that I was not the source of our families provision, and neither was the job I had.  That job was a tool that God used to provide for us.  I felt better, over my panic attack, and feeling a little more secure.

So back to my tap board.  I went to my sister’s house and she gave me more than enough flooring to make the tap board.  I came home excited and thankful.  It was then that God made me laugh out loud.  The next day I walked into the garage and found foam flooring.  How it got into our garage, I will never know?  Both my husband imageand I were stumped?  It might have been one of our children, or maybe even left by the previous owner.  My husband then decided that some plywood he had could be used for my board.  It was just the right size, and didn’t even have to be cut.  The only item I had to purchase was some gorilla glue.  So for under $5.00, I have my tap board.  With that board, I will get some exercise, learn something new, live joyfully and continue to work on unpeeling the onion that is my life. Except now, I will be doing it to a different beat.

 

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No longer boys…

So today is a big day in our household.  My youngest son, Gene, is about to graduate from high school.  I thought I was ok with everything?   I mean I was not feeling emotional or getting sappy, going about my day in a pretty normal way, until I had to go to the store.  I had gotten a text stating that my photo order was ready, which it wasn’t, then I basically had a panic attack about having enough time to bake a cake.  This was all ridiculous since it was only 11:00 in the morning and dinner was not until 5:30!

img_0218It was then I realized that I was probably feeling something.  What though was the question?  Gene is my youngest, so him graduating is something of a watershed moment for me.  I mean, he really hasn’t paid attention to me for years, so there is really  is not much difference in our relationship.  All of my boys are pretty independent, but Gene was that way from a very early age.  I will now be a mother to four men, instead of four boys.  That makes me happy.  I do not miss those boys, because they have grown into men that I like.  They are not perfect, but they have qualities that make me thankful.  They are loyal, love their family, love God and are more than willing to help a friend in need.  Even to their own detriment.  While we have made mistakes in raising them, they love us like we were the most perfect of parents.  So today as we celebrate this graduation day I wanted to say to all of my men;  Scott, Bob, Matt and Geno, I love you.  You make me the happiest mom in the history of time!

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Where’s Geno?

So I went last night to youth group.  I haven’t been in a while, and that is probably because I haven’t been a youth for a while.  The only reason I attended last night was because my son was speaking.  Funniest part of the night was when he was done, someone said they expected him to talk longer.  This child is obviously my son.  He did well, the kids were very cool, fairly quiet and listened.  I love communication, so it was a fun moment for me to see him step out at a young age and get his feet wet.  To stick his neck out there and not have the fear of the unknown drive him.  OK, so maybe he is not so much like me?

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I am ecstatic for him, encouraged by him and I am thankful that he has stepped out to test this ability.  I love that God is prompting him, and that he is trying to listen.  That is the prayer I have for all the men in my life.

He was kind of nervous about me being there, and I told him not to worry “If you screw up, I will love you just the same as if you do great”.  For me, the whole night was not based on how he would do, but on what he would learn through the process.  Good job Geno!!

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