christian

Of men and joy

And so my children, listen to me, for all who follow my ways are joyful. Proverbs 8:32

So I enjoy being a mom. I am not one of the mom’s that laments the fact that her

img_1056-1 — Not sure where the floating bunny ears came from.

children have grown. I loved them when they were little, but as they grew, each age brought its own joy and pain. I wouldn’t say that I have enjoyed all the stages of their growth, some stages were better than others, but each new screw up brings wisdom. Or so one hopes.

So one of my oldest son was stressing at work the other day, and had sent me a text to pray. It was great, because not only did I pray for him, but I was able to give him some encouragement from a blog I had just written. I love when God gives the answer, even before you knew there was a question. During the conversation, I told him that he should think long and hard about pursuing something that he loved. That he should spend some time dreaming or imagining what it would look like to make that dream a reality.

So the next day I texted him to check out his stress level and he let me know that he was good. Me though, I was a different story. It was a bad day for me, and so by the time I was talking to him, I was finally getting some writing done. It was then that he said he had been thinking about my writing. Since he was contemplating his own dreams, he started thinking about my own pursuit. He asked what kind of writing I wanted to do? He then proceeded to tell me how Prince wrote two songs a day, even though some were never published. He then pointed out how very left-brain my writing seemed to be, and that maybe I needed to use the right side for some short fictional stories. When I told him that I was not sure what I wanted to write, he brought up JK Rowling and how he doubted that she knew exactly what she was writing that first day in the coffee shop.

Our texts finally tapered off and I felt good. He had given me a different perspective, and that seemed to give me some energy. I was able to finish a blog post and it was a little different than others I had posted, so I felt good. Accomplished.

It wasn’t till today that I went back to revisit the texts from my son. I am so used to being the encouraging one, that to be on the receiving end is a different angle for me. It was funny, I don’t think he meant to encourage me, I just think he was asking que img_3126-1 stions. It gives me hope. Not only for myself and the path that I am taking, but for him and his path of growing and learning who God made him to be.
No, I don’t miss those little boys at all. They were adorable and I loved them very much, but it is the men that they are growing into that is so much more exciting. While they still make a lot of mistakes and are not perfect, I can see growth as they continue to learn and gain wisdom. That above all else brings me joy and gives me hope.

September 6, 2016 0

Holding on…

“I will not let you go unless you bless me.” Genesis 32:26b

These past few weeks I have been watching a lot of the Olympics. I have not sat down for long stretches of time, but if I was able to catch a few minutes, I did. One of those times included watching the end of a wrestling match between Russia and Uzbekistan. At the end of the match, the Uzbek athlete lost, and proceeded to lay in the middle of the mat inconsolable. The referee or umpire or whatever they are called in wrestling, stood there offering a hand that was ignored. Finally, after what seemed a long time, he got up and stood there as the other athlete was called the winner. I made note of his actions, and didn’t think of them again until today.

I have been listening to a sermon podcast from church, and that is what brought the wrestler back to mind. Why? Well, after listening to this sermon, I really could relate to the guy on the mat. It was like if he stayed on the mat, then the match wasn’t really over. As he laid there, I wondered what was going through his mind? Maybe he was wrestling with his own emotions and thoughts. Then when he could bear the outcome, he was finally able to get up. It gave me a better picture of the story of Jacob and the night he wrestled with God. Even better than that, the whole story seemed to give me a better picture of my own wrestling with God.

Here is the quick rundown. Esau and Jacob were brothers, and Esau being the oldest was in line for the birthright and blessing from his father. These two brothers had two different mothers so there were a whole bunch of dysfunctional family dynamics going on. What winds up happening is that Jacob manipulates the situation and steals both the birthright and blessing. At that point Esau is mad as all get out and vows to kill his brother, so Jacob runs away.

While Jacob is gone, God guides him and blesses him, but It is not always pretty. He gets conned by his father in law, Laban. Then he is able to do some conning of his own, since he had been taken advantage of. God eventually tells him to return home, back to the land of his father and grandfather, where God promises to be with him. Jacob is now husband to two wives, baby daddy to two servants and father to many children. He came home very wealthy as he had flocks of many animals and lots of servants.

One thing he did not have was the knowledge of what waited for him at home. Would Esau welcome him? Would he still be calling for Jacobs blood? Jacob was terrified. So what does he do? Well he reminds God of all the promises that He made to Jacob and his family. The one’s where God said He would protect Jacob if he returned home, and that He would multiply Jacob’s descendants until they were as many as the sand on the beach. So Jacob then slept peacefully reminded of all God’s promises, right? Continue reading “Holding on…” →

August 26, 2016 0

Looking for Harmony

I went to a bible study this morning, and I think there was some shock that I was there. This was actually my second time there and when I walked in the first time, it was quite a surprise. I was by the far the youngest person in the room. I would say that most of them were a good 20 years older than me, and retired. Grandchildren and great grandchildren was their reality, mine is just finishing getting my children out of the house.

So I sat, and they were all introduced to me and I to them. It was funny, and while I felt a bit out of place, they were all more than kind to me. After the study, I was not sure if I would go back. It had more to do with how they ran the study, than anything else, but I had decided to go at least the one more time before their August break.

So today, I walked into the class and was warmly greeted by all. After the class, I made conversation with one of the ladies as she had asked prayer for her daughter and a job decision that was coming up. From the way she spoke, I assumed her daughter lived in the bay area, and since that is where I am from, it gave me an “in” to have a conversation. We spoke of her daughter, where she lived and the decision she would be soon making. It was a nice conversation, and I was glad that I had found an opening to speak with her.

At that point, the teacher of the group walked out with me and made a comment that made me smile. She handed me the binder of study materials that they were using and said that it was OK if I did not come back. She said it nicely, and I know it was because she recognized that this group was not my peers, and not out of a desire to get me out of the group. Whatever my feelings were before, by that time, I knew I would be back. Really, how could I not? This is a group of women that I could learn from, and like I told her, I might teach them a thing or two also.

Meeting these ladies also fits into the scheme of the new me. I want to be challenged by who I know, and seek out those who ha images-1 ve a different experience than I do. I want to hear their stories, and see from their perspective. This is important to me. Why? I think it is so I can meet people where they are, and not where I think they should be. I think that is a lot of the problem with the world. We expect everyone to be like….well us.

Everyone thinks we need to be unified, but I don’t like to think in terms of unity, but more like harmony. Unity seems like sameness to me, and I know that in our ways of thinking many of us are not the same. I like to think more in terms of harmony. We are singing different parts, that look and sound awfully different. All of us singing with the same goal 9165c3e52b881ae39233a13d8c8df74d in mind. It may sound a bit discordant when you take each part separately, but when it is all put together by a Master Conductor, we get something that is beyond what we could ever imagine. I cannot wait to hear their stories, and seek out the harmony that He creates

August 11, 2016 4

Right time, right place.

Today was a day of encouragement. Some of it I gave, and some of it I received. The events were nothing spectacular, but it is typically the small things that can have the most impact. This morning, I went to the grocery store, and by the time I came out, my car was in the shade. It was a simple thing, but in the heat of the Central Valley, it provided welcome relief even from this morning’s heat.

When I came home, I had to hurry and get cleaned up, as I had a massage appointment to get to. It was only twenty minutes, but after the stress that I put myself through this week, it was like a little slice of heaven. This week my regular therapist was back from a maternity sabbatical, and I was happy to see her. After my massage, we sat and talked for a few minutes. First she gave me the update about the new baby and the challenges of being a new mom. I told her some of my experiences with the boys, and encouraged her to use her own good sense to make decisions. I advised her to not worry about what other people say she should do, but to take the advice and use her best judgement. I then told her that I had quit my job, and that I was working at blogging and trying to “reinvent” myself. It was then that she was able to give some encouraging words to me. It was a great conversation, and I left feeling better in both body and spirit. Continue reading “Right time, right place.” →

July 17, 2016 0

Tap dance as life.

Viva La Revolution!! And I do not mean some kind of violent upheaval, I mean the spinning around till you get back to the start. That is where I am today, back to getting some tapping done. I am trying to be mindful of everything that is going on in the world, but life goes on. And isn’t that why we continue to address the same issues? Life must go on. I have to work, pay bills, care for my family, exercise, eat right and try to encourage/instruct my children. (still!!)

I was tapping this morning (yikes) and I found that one step was really hard for me, because of one little problem. I was having a hard time with my weight on my heel and bringing my other foot off the floor. It was all a matter of balance. I felt awkward and terribly clumsy, but kept working on it. After thinking it through, watching the video and practicing that one part repeatedly it finally felt better. It probably did not look perfect, but it did feel a little more natural. Continue reading “Tap dance as life.” →

July 13, 2016 1

Where is justice?

So today as I watch the news and watch officer involved shootings, I am…? I am not even sure. I am angry and upset. I am so sad that families will be going through the emotional roller coaster, that is now their new normal. I am tired of seeing the same bad decision making, incident after incident.

I called my son, because I knew he would be angry. As I spoke with him, I tried to work through what I was thinking, while giving him what I hoped would be wisdom. So I told my son that the best way we can do something at this point would be personal. (At this point, I had a whole paragraph of some of the things that I think need to be addressed, but trying to keep opinion out and see what God teaches me through this.) Continue reading “Where is justice?” →

July 7, 2016 3

Happy that no one is watching

So today I am going back to the start. I said that I have typically 20 things going on in my head at one time, so I am trying to clear everything else out and focus on one thing. I have my tap board ready, my shoes and a video of simple instructions. I have to get practicing if I am going to be ready for next year’s National Tap Dance Day.

It has been a couple of weeks since building my board, and trying it out for a fe keep-calm-and-tap-dance-48 w minutes. Why haven’t I stepped back on you ask? Well, this morning I was asking myself the same thing. I thought back over the past couple of weeks, and wondered what happened? What took my excitement away? Where did the drive go to accomplish something new ? I know the whole tap dancing thing seems a little trivial, but it really is a means to deal with other things that are truly not so trivial. Insecurities, health, doubt, fear, fitness and choosing the freedom to live life joyfully.

I look back on the last few weeks, and I see doubt and fear raising their ugly heads. These two monsters have been attacking me with a vengeance. The avenues of attack? It has been finances, writing, back pain and even discouragement. So where is my defense? I got a kick star 280px-Gossamer_restored t from reading the bible, making props for storytelling, helping my husband and reading some Max Lucado. That is all just to stay afloat. I also listened to an author/speaker named John Maxwell, and he was talking about one of his books, “Today Matters”. There was a lot in it, but my quick take away was if you put something off until tomorrow, it is more than likely it will never get done.

I have been legitimately busy, but I noticed that this was the only thing that I kept putting off day after day. That caught my attention. I always put off doing what I don’t like, is hardest or most uncomfortable for me. It is a pattern. So when I see this, I know I have to attack it. So here I am, ready to wage war on my fear and insecurity through the art of dance. OK, I use the word art and dance very loosely. You have heard the saying, “Dance like no one is watching.” Well I can tell you, I have never been more thankful that no one is watching.

June 24, 2016 3

Someone else’s box.

So I really love to write, and I typically have 20 things going through my head at one time, so I always feel like it should come freely and with ease. The only problem is, most time it doesn’t. By the end, it feels more like child birth than anything else. Times of struggle, gasping for each new line. Then at times there is rest and a moment where new insight is revealed. So for me, it is not always easy.

This morning though, I was really inspired and wanted to just sit and get my thoughts down on paper. It all started when I read a blog, “Fcuk Pretty.” Well the title had me interested, and when I went to read it, the post had me hooked. I enjoyed the writing and honesty, but most of all I loved the commonality. In my own life, I could relate to some of the feelings and statements that she was relaying in the post. What is the best part though? It was her. I looked at some of the information about her, and I knew that I would not naturally be a part of her circle of friends. (influence?) To me though, that is exciting.

Again, we find so many ways to separate ourselves from each other, and I am done with that. It is boring. I want to risk meeting people who are different than me, the ones that I am not “supposed” to talk to. I want to know their story, and how it may have hurt them or brought them strength. I want to hear about the things that separate us, because when I look at them through the lens of eternity, those things become meaningless.

What do you think? Are you tired of being labeled and put in someone else’s box?

Here is the link to the original post: https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/33316213/posts/1045939154

Seems the link may be having issues. Where is my IT guy? Please cut and paste…it will get you there. Sorry for the difficulties….but I do recommend reading it. Thanks!!

June 21, 2016 0

Time for another Adventure

Dinner is almost done and I am exhausted. It is going to be a couple of long weeks as we are getting ready for VBA. I am sure you see signs where you live about VBS, or Vacation Bible School. Here though, we do Vacation Bible Adventure. Both our Senior and Youth Pastors have daughters that work at Disneyland, so that should give you the indication what the place starts to look like. Sets are going up all over the campus in anticipation of the 1,000 or so kids who will attend. During the week, I tell stories Version 2 to preschoolers. Today I went and started to get our sets “built”, more like taped together, for the stories. I was happy to have one of our students come out and help me today. I had a picture from Pinterest of what I was looking for, but after showing her that, I gave her free reign to create. I think she did a fantastic job. It is a really cute whale….my pic is not so good though.
This whole undertaking is HUGE! It takes so many people, using so many different talents to put these great environments together. It is always exhausting, but always amazing to be a part of such a wonderful group of people. Are you having your own Vacation Bible School? Or Adventure? If you are, leave a comment about what encourages you the most about being involved in this kind of event.

So I kind of cut her out of the picture because she is a young lady, and I try to be aware of any parental concern.

June 21, 2016 2

Cheryl Mendoza

How He speaks to me…..Or… can't He just call my cell when He wants to talk?

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