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Cheryl Mendoza

How He speaks to me…..Or… can't He just call my cell when He wants to talk?

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A bigger circle…

new-member-to-circle-image-white-background-34649901I wound up helping in a pre-K/Kindergarten Sunday school class this weekend.  I was not teaching the lesson, but was just helping to wrangle kids into their places and have some fun while they learned.  It was pretty funny though, because where has God taught me the most?  It has been from serving in this classroom.  What does that say about my maturity? I don’t really think I want to know, but I am glad He uses this room to speak to me.

So as we gathered the kids for circle time, we began to run out of room.  It was then I said, “let’s make our circle bigger, so that we can let more friends in”.  As we continued to adjust kids in the circle, I was thanking God for those words.  They are a lesson to me, and a prayer for those kids.

I can close my eyes and picture that circle of kids.  Hands that are holding their friends, releasing and letting go.  Bodies that shift, for more room, to let another friend enter and then hands are clasped again.  We have a pretty diverse makeup of students in the class, and to see them let go of hands to let others join in, seemed like a small glimpse into heaven.   I am thankful that He uses the kids in that room to speak to me!

 

 

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Stressed?

This morning I was getting ready, as it is a new commitment of mine, to walk every day.  I am getting older, and totally feeling it, so I am trying to somewhat slow that process.  During these walks, I typically pray and listen to music.  Depending on the day, I could be listening to 70’s light rock, Christian rock, classical, jazz, well the list goes on.  I have just put into Pandora the Henry Mancini station, and I am loving it!  If you do not know who that is, and you love movie music, Google him.

I was listening to Good Morning America as I was putting on my shoes, and they were imagestalking about kids and stress.  They gave a few suggestions on how to help them deal with it, like meditation or yoga, and getting out into nature.  They also pointed out that the parents stress level and how they dealt with it was an important factor.  Which I think could be THE most important factor.  Anyway, as I sat there I thought she had missed something.  There was no mention of God.   Now I understand that He is not everyone’s cup of tea, but isn’t He at least an option?

So I finished getting ready and grabbed my phone and turned Pandora from the country station (Eww!) that my son was listening to, and thought about what station I would put it on this morning.  I was about to put in Henry Mancini, (they always play the Magnificent 7 theme and it always gets me fiyzwzkhqyfhwikccpi9going) but I changed my mind.  I had already been feeling a little sad, mad, and irritated this morning, so I decided that I would need some encouragement.  So the Christian rock station was the choice for today.  While at times I have to admit, I am a little bored with the station, this morning I knew I probably needed it.  While I don’t always love the music, I cannot argue with the lyrics.  Well on some I probably can, but that is a whole different post.

The first song this morning was exactly what I needed to hear.  It talked about holding on to God, and those are exactly the words He has been using lately to give me hope.  So off I went with a smile on my face and a lighter step than just five minutes before.  It was then God reminded me of Good Morning America, and stress.  Now I know for me, turning to God seems like a natural reaction because I am a Christian.  It ain’t so simple though.  I don’t know about other Christians, but I struggle to seek God first for the clarity, comfort and peace in times of stress.  (And I would guess that I am not the only one) This morning was a great example of how I want to do it every day.  Looking to God, even before emotions and stress overtake me.

images-1I did like some of the suggestions from the show this morning, but I would add to them.  If you or your child are feeling the inevitable stress of life, why don’t you give God a chance?   Seek out a church, a Christian friend, a bible study or just sit down and have a chat with Him.  You may find some peace, comfort, and rest from the stress that is plaguing you.

“…..May God bless you richly and grant you increasing freedom from all anxiety and fear.”  1 Peter 1:2b

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Not to be silent

My son called to check on me this past Tuesday.  He wanted to see how my writin
g was going and how I was feeling.  We are a lot alike, so he knows how mental I can get.

He was frustrated, and it was over a Facebook post with someone that he restthects.  He said that they had a “discussion” and he had gotten irritated.  He said that he was glad that the post was taken down, but he was frustrated with himself. So he was thinking about just deleting his account for a while, which I think is a good idea.  It is hard.  I am his mom and know about the potential I see in him, but I also know of the demons he fights.

So I asked him about his voice?  You see, I started to write about my own voice the other day.  Not the one I sing with, as it is nothing to write home about.  It is the one that is heard by what I communicate with my life.  I was unable to finish the thoughts, but I decided to share with him what I started to write.

We all have a voice.  It is the things we think and feel.  It is our views, the things we consider important and our character.  Our voice comes through the words we speak, what we may write and how we act.  Some people have a voice that reaches millions, but most of us have a much smaller circle where we are heard.   My son has some good verbal skills.  He is a pretty good talker, and because of that, I encourage him to use his words wisely.  He has yet to fully adopt this advice, but I am hoping that he will one day.

Each of our voices are important, but there are times where I believe that my voice was silent.  When I was young, I was afraid to ask questions, to give answers or just in general talk to those in authority.  It made going to school very hard.  I told my son the story of not wanting to sneeze in class when I was in fifth grade.  Why?  Well my teacher would say snape001“God bless you”, and he would expect you to say “thank you”.  I can remember sitting there, trying so hard not to sneeze.  It was supposed to be all very pleasant, but because of his authority over me, it was breathtakingly scary.  I shared a few other anecdotes to give him a better picture, but they are much more embarrassing, so I will keep those between us.

 

I told him that even now, I have to fight to put my voice out there.  That my intent is to use my voice as a means to glorify God, and to the gifts He has given me to encourage people.

Since encouragement comes through my words I am working hard, not to be silent. A fact to which my husband and boys can attest.  I told my son that his voice is important too.  That there is someone, that he hasn’t met yet, that will need to hear what he has to say.  That he should not let things that are not important silence that voice.  Through my life there have been times that I have been made silent by fear.  I suggested to him that because of anger, he may effectively silence himself.

Why is it so important?

We are a world that has a lot of problems, but I believe there is a God who can transform.  I told my son that when he talks with people with differing views, the point is not to get them to change their minds, it is to make them think.  To spur them to seek wisdom from God, not to just win the argument.

He thanked me and we got off the phone, and I was pleased with the conversation.  The th-1last thing I asked him was to really think about what I had said, and even consider the effect his voice could have on his community.  I listed the problems we had discussed, and reminded him that there is a way for these problems to disappear.  It takes people loving God and then loving our neighbor as ourselves.  In his community, it can start with him.  In mine, it can start with me.  And even though I write in a blog that effectively, anyone around the world can read.  My real sphere of influence is right here in my own community.  This is where my voice can be heard best, and those around me get to see if I truly live according to my words.

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Of men and joy

And so my children, listen to me, for all who follow my ways are joyful.  Proverbs 8:32

So I enjoy being a mom.   I am not one of the mom’s that laments the fact that her

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Not sure where the floating bunny ears came from.

children have grown.  I loved them when they were little, but as they grew, each age brought its own joy and pain.  I wouldn’t say that I have enjoyed all the stages of their growth, some stages were better than others, but each new screw up brings wisdom.  Or so one hopes.

So one of my oldest son was stressing at work the other day, and had sent me a text to pray.  It was great, because not only did I pray for him, but I was able to give him some encouragement from a blog I had just written. I love when God gives the answer, even before you knew there was a question.  During the conversation, I told him that he should think long and hard about pursuing something that he loved.  That he should spend some time dreaming or imagining what it would look like to make that dream a reality.

So the next day I texted him to check out his stress level and he let me know that he was good.  Me though, I was a different story.  It was a bad day for me, and so by the time I was talking to him, I was finally getting some writing done.  It was then that he said he had been thinking about my writing.  Since he was contemplating his own dreams, he started thinking about my own pursuit.  He asked what kind of writing I wanted to do?  He then proceeded to tell me how Prince wrote two songs a day, even though some were never published.  He then pointed out how very left-brain my writing seemed to be, and that maybe I needed to use the right side for some short fictional stories.  When I told him that I was not sure what I wanted to write, he brought up JK Rowling and how he doubted that she knew exactly what she was writing that first day in the coffee shop.

Our texts finally tapered off and I felt good.  He had given me a different perspective, and that seemed to give me some energy.  I was able to finish a blog post and it was a little different than others I had posted, so I felt good.  Accomplished.

It wasn’t till today that I went back to revisit the texts from my son.  I am so used to being the encouraging one, that to be on the receiving end is a different angle for me.  It was funny, I don’t think he meant to encourage me, I just think he was asking queimg_3126-1stions.  It gives me hope.  Not only for myself and the path that I am taking, but for him and his path of growing and learning who God made him to be.
No, I don’t miss those little boys at all.  They were adorable and I loved them very much, but it is the men that they are growing into that is so much more exciting.   While they still make a lot of mistakes and are not perfect, I can see growth as they continue to learn and gain wisdom.  That above all else brings me joy and gives me hope.

 

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Of Fall and Friends

I was not sure why I looked, but I did.  It may be because it is fall.  I know, most people just get a pumpkin spice latte, but not me.  I become nostalgic.  It might have been because yesterday was such a sucky day.  I slept badly, and did not write till late in the afternoon.  Which means that all the crap that makes my head, spin was not written out and discarded.  It just kept rolling around in my mind till it was ready to burst.  Yesterday afternoon though, I was able to get out, grab some chai and “throw up” for lack of a better term.  I just write down everything in my head and see if I can use any of what is there.

autumn-leaves-smoky-mountains

For some reason this morning, I did not go back to it.  I was feeling nostalgic again and so I did look up some information on my elementary school.  I was trying to picture people and some of the things that shape my memories.  It was then that I looked.  In this day and age of the internet you can find just about anyone, or at least some bit of an electronic trace.  So during childhood I had many friends on and off, and I still keep in touch with a few.  There is one though, that I truly lost touch with. We met during elementary school, continued through Junior high and into the beginning of high school. At some point, we grew apart?

115847-113843Today for some reason, I Googled her name.  OK, so I looked her up through Yahoo, whatever!  When her name
came up, so did a lot of pictures.  Some were of other people, but then I saw her face.  Older, with darker hair but beautiful.  I looked into the face of a person that I remember with fondness, I looked into the face of a person that I loved.  Now get your minds out of the gutter, not that kind of love.   The kind of love you have for a family member that, even though you haven’t seen them for a while, you feel like they had never left your side.

So what do you do when you find someone on the internet?  You of course cyber stalk them.  Do not get the wrong idea, I was not going to camp out at her house or anything.  I went and looked in the usual places for information, FaceBook and Twitter.  I looked for pictures of her, of her family, any information as to where she lived and what she was doing after all these years.  It was exciting to see that she is an actress.  It was something that made sense, in relation to the girl I once knew.  I guess the tap, jazz, acrobat and Hawaiian dance lessons had paid off for her.  I always laughed when she went through the litany of dance classes she had taken, and even with what I listed, I am probably still missing some of them.  As you can imagine, I was a more than a little envious of her training.

autism-puzzle-piece-clip-art-cliparts-co-lilgLt-clipartIt makes me happy to know that she is well.  I remember long conversations when we were younger, but I don’t remember the details.  I cannot put my finger on the why, all I know is what my heart tells me.  All I know is that finding out this new information, is like a piece of a puzzle.  It all seems to fit.   I love fall and the thoughts of old friends.

 

 

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Influencing faith?

Ok…so there is some crazy things about this whole writing gig.  I have a love hate relationship with it.  I love when I am done.  When I feel like what I wanted to say is clear, it honors God and is not too embarrassing about myself.  If I hit all three ofwhiskey-typewriter-shutterstock-570x380
those criteria, I am ecstatic.  I feel like I am doing what God is calling me to do.  To make it even better, if I can get a catchy last line to sum it all up, I treat myself to some ice cream.  When I am working through something though, I cannot stand it.  Maybe this is why some writers drink so much?   Maybe I should skip the ice cream and move on to scotch?  No.

At first, I am typically inspired by something that happens, but as I continue to write, I feel inept, unsure and have no idea why God is calling me to write anything?  It is weird.  It is why I try to write as fast as I can, so that I can finish it quickly while I still feel the excitement of that first discovery. how-often-blog-why-blogging-writing-ideasWell today I was not so much inspired, but compelled.  You see I was cruising my FaceBook, cuz ya know I have the dreaded disease, FOMO.  Fear of missing out.  So instead of just attacking my lap top to write I start scrolling, and at times it stresses me out.  So why do I do it?  FOMO.  Anyway, I was reading a post by a blogger, who was talking about a Christian blogger who had posted that she was separating from her spouse.  OK, so that is guaranteed to get my attention.  Neither of these bloggers are anyone that I “follow”(man I hate that term) but I know I have read posts by them before.   So because I am like a cat, totally curious, I went to the post where she announces her separation to see what she wrote.  OK, to tell you the truth, I just skimmed it.  She is not someone that I know personally or follow, so her decision does not produce any other emotion than just heart break for her situation.  What I did think was ironic is her new book that was just being released.   It was about her marriage, the problems they had and how they have walked through it.  It was then I wondered about the influence she hoped to have with women, and how this new turn in her story affected that?

I really wondered about this whole online community thing, especially since I am trying to wiggle my way into it.  Is it a good way to influence people?  Is it bad?  I am not sure what the answers are to the questions, but it reminded me of how I want my online presence to be perceived.  I am not here to tell people what to do, or even what I think God is telling them to do.  There is more than enough of that already. (My hubby and kids can ignore this part, I am so totally here to tell them what to do)   I am not here to say that I have the answers to any aspect of life.  All I am here to do is relay what God is teaching me.  That being a Christian can look pretty messy, but it is a lovely mess.  I am here to tell my story, and the simple ways that God speaks to me in my boring everyday life.  It is a glimpse of what faith looks like for me, but it is not necessarily a template for what it should look like for you.  What I am thankful for most in my life, is what I want to encourage everyone to seek.  Their own faith.  God is good, and if you seek Him you better believe you are going to find Him.   Just don’t be shocked by where He might show up.

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If you agree, disagree, I have irritated you or made you think, leave me a comment.  I would be interested to hear any feedback on the topic or how it was written.   Thanks!

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Looking for Harmony

DSC_0132I went to a bible study this morning, and I think there was some shock that I was there.  This was actually my second time there and when I walked in the first time, it was quite a surprise.  I was by the far the youngest person in the room.  I would say that most of them were a good 20 years older than me, and retired.  Grandchildren and great grandchildren was their reality, mine is just finishing getting my children out of the house.

So I sat, and they were all introduced to me and I to them.  It was funny, and while I felt a bit out of place, they were all more than kind to me.  After the study, I was not sure if I would go back.  It had more to do with how they ran the study, than anything else, but I had decided to go at least the one more time before their August break.

So today, I walked into the class and was warmly greeted by all.  After the class, I made conversation with one of the ladies as she had asked prayer for her daughter and a job decision that was coming up.  From the way she spoke, I assumed her daughter lived in the bay area, and since that is where I am from, it gave me an “in” to have a conversation.  We spoke of her daughter, where she lived and the decision she would be soon making.  It was a nice conversation, and I was glad that I had found an opening to speak with her.

At that point, the teacher of the group walked out with me and made a comment that made me smile.   She handed me the binder of study materials that they were using and said that it was OK if I did not come back.  She said it nicely, and I know it was because she recognized that this group was not my peers, and not out of a desire to get me out of the group.  Whatever my feelings were before, by that time, I knew I would be back.  Really, how could I not?  This is a group of women that I could learn from, and like I told her, I might teach them a thing or two also.

Meeting these ladies also fits into the scheme of the new me.  I want to be challenged by who I know, and seek out those who haimages-1ve a different experience than I do.  I want to hear their stories, and see from their perspective.  This is important to me.  Why?  I think it is so I can meet people where they are, and not where I think they should be.  I think that is a lot of the problem with the world.  We expect everyone to be like….well us.

Everyone thinks we need to be unified, but I don’t like to think in terms of unity, but more like harmony.   Unity seems like sameness to me, and I know that in our ways of thinking many of us are not the same.  I like to think more in terms of harmony.  We are singing different parts, that look and sound awfully different.  All of us singing with the same goal 9165c3e52b881ae39233a13d8c8df74din mind.  It may sound a bit discordant when you take each part separately, but when it is all put together by a Master Conductor, we get something that is beyond what we could ever imagine. I cannot wait to hear their stories, and seek out the harmony that He creates

 

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Little bit of heaven

Ok.  It all started on Thursday when I went to meet a new friend.  This came about after really feeling a need to find some wisdom in this way off kilter world.  So I did something atypical for myself, and I went to go meet someone new.  I am just trying to turn over all sorts of new leafs (leaves?).  I had sent out an email to a few of the Pastors in town, inviting them to answer some of my questions.   Thursday I went to go and meet my first victim, I mean pastor. Continue reading “Little bit of heaven” →

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Stranger things to post….

 

So I started watching a Netflix program yesterday called Stranger Things.  It is one of those original series that they now produce, and I have to admit, I am totally hooked.  It is a suspenseful, horror, sci fi kind of series.  So basically, stuff I don’t tend to watch.  I like suspense, but I stay away from horror, because it is not good for me.  This one though had me hooked quickly, and I couldn’t figure out why?  I wondered if it was because I so totally related to the setting. It is set in 1980, so I feel like I am looking at my childhood.  (or at least Jr. High)  The clothes, bikes, cars, homes, music and TV were all so familiar to me.  I looked at clothes that I probably wore, and hairstyles that I totally had.  In the show, I was in a setting that made so much sense to me.  Not like Sesame Street.  I know you are thinking, Sesame Street?  How did we get here? Continue reading “Stranger things to post….” →

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