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Cheryl Mendoza

How He speaks to me…..Or… can't He just call my cell when He wants to talk?

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kings county

Of football and flags

I am not one of the 49er Faithful, but I do live in that territory.  I have always been a Cowboy fan, you know America’s Team, and I typically spend my time during football season getting picked on by my family and friends.

This week was kind of interesting for me though, as I seemed to be on the other side for once.  Colin Kaepernick caused such a stink this week with his refusal to stand for the National Anthem.  I knew nothing about it until the day after when I saw social media blowing up about the incident.  Even die hard Kaep fans really gave him a tongue lashing.   I wasn’t too interested in it, because my own team has it’s own quarterback problems, and it took me a day or two more to really check the situation out.  Continue reading “Of football and flags”

Holding on…

“I will not let you go unless you bless me.”  Genesis 32:26b

These past few weeks I have been watching a lot of the Olympics.  I have not sat down for long stretches of time, but if I was able to catch a few minutes, I did.  One of those times included watching the end of a wrestling match between Russia and Uzbekistan.  At the end of the match, the Uzbek athlete lost, and proceeded to lay in the middle of the mat inconsolable.  The referee or umpire or whatever they are called in wrestling, stood there offering a hand that was ignored.  Finally, after what seemed a long time, he got up and stood there as the other athlete was called the winner.  I made note of his actions, and didn’t think of them again until today.

I have been listening to a sermon podcast from church, and that is what brought the wrestler back to mind.  Why?  Well, after listening to this sermon, I really could relate to the guy on the mat.  It was like if he stayed on the mat, then the match wasn’t really over.  As he laid there, I wondered what was going through his mind?  Maybe he was wrestling with his own emotions and thoughts.  Then when he could bear the outcome, he was finally able to get up.  It gave me a better picture of the story of Jacob and the night he wrestled with God.  Even better than that, the whole story seemed to give me a better picture of my own wrestling with God.

Here is the quick rundown.  Esau and Jacob were brothers, and Esau being the oldest was in line for the birthright and blessing from his father.  These two brothers had two different mothers so there were a whole bunch of dysfunctional family dynamics going on.  What winds up happening is that Jacob manipulates the situation and steals both the birthright and blessing.  At that point Esau is mad as all get out and vows to kill his brother, so Jacob runs away.

While Jacob is gone, God guides him and blesses him, but It is not always pretty.  He gets conned by his father in law, Laban.  Then he is able to do some conning of his own, since he had been taken advantage of.  God eventually tells him to return home, back to the land of his father and grandfather, where God promises to be with him.  Jacob is now husband to two wives, baby daddy to two servants and father to many children.  He came home very wealthy as he had flocks of many animals and lots of servants.

One thing he did not have was the knowledge of what waited for him at home.  Would Esau welcome him?  Would he still be calling for Jacobs blood? Jacob was terrified.  So what does he do?  Well he reminds God of all the promises that He made to Jacob and his family.  The one’s where God said He would protect Jacob if he returned home, and that He would multiply Jacob’s descendants until they were as many as the sand on the beach.   So Jacob then slept peacefully reminded of all God’s promises, right? Continue reading “Holding on…”

Cooling off in Cambria

So we had to go to Paso Robles yesterday evening for a concert, and since it was just as hot there as it was here (100+) we decided to hit the coast first.  I could not be more thankful for the detour.  We left temperatures in the 90’s and arrived at the coast to fog and high 60’s.  I got to put on a sweatshirt and everything!  Since I was with the shutterbug hubby, I decided to bring my little camera and follow his lead.  These are a few of my favorite shots.

 

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Moonstone Beach. All these rocks are a natural exfoliant. So much nicer to walk on than sand.

Continue reading “Cooling off in Cambria”

Little bit of heaven

Ok.  It all started on Thursday when I went to meet a new friend.  This came about after really feeling a need to find some wisdom in this way off kilter world.  So I did something atypical for myself, and I went to go meet someone new.  I am just trying to turn over all sorts of new leafs (leaves?).  I had sent out an email to a few of the Pastors in town, inviting them to answer some of my questions.   Thursday I went to go and meet my first victim, I mean pastor. Continue reading “Little bit of heaven”

Stranger things to post….

 

So I started watching a Netflix program yesterday called Stranger Things.  It is one of those original series that they now produce, and I have to admit, I am totally hooked.  It is a suspenseful, horror, sci fi kind of series.  So basically, stuff I don’t tend to watch.  I like suspense, but I stay away from horror, because it is not good for me.  This one though had me hooked quickly, and I couldn’t figure out why?  I wondered if it was because I so totally related to the setting. It is set in 1980, so I feel like I am looking at my childhood.  (or at least Jr. High)  The clothes, bikes, cars, homes, music and TV were all so familiar to me.  I looked at clothes that I probably wore, and hairstyles that I totally had.  In the show, I was in a setting that made so much sense to me.  Not like Sesame Street.  I know you are thinking, Sesame Street?  How did we get here? Continue reading “Stranger things to post….”

Right time, right place.

Today was a day of encouragement.  Some of it I gave, and some of it I received.  The events were nothing spectacular, but it is typically the small things that can have the most impact. This morning, I went to the grocery store, and by the time I came out, my car was in the shade.  It was a simple thing, but in the heat of the Central Valley, it provided welcome relief even from this morning’s heat.

When I came home, I had to hurry and get cleaned up, as I had a massage appointment to get to.  It was only twenty minutes, but after the stress that I put myself through this week, it was like a little slice of heaven.  This week my regular therapist was back from a maternity sabbatical, and I was happy to see her.  After my massage, we sat and talked for a few minutes.  First she gave me the update about the new baby and the challenges of being a new mom.  I told her some of my experiences with the boys, and encouraged her to use her own good sense to make decisions.  I advised her to not worry about what other people say she should do, but to take the advice and use her best judgement.  I then told her that I had quit my job, and that I was working at blogging and trying to “reinvent” myself.  It was then that she was able to give some encouraging words to me.  It was a great conversation, and I left feeling better in both body and spirit. Continue reading “Right time, right place.”

Tap dance as life.

Viva La Revolution!!  And I do not mean some kind of violent upheaval, I mean the spinning around till you get back to the start.  That is where I am today, back to getting some tapping done.  I am trying to be mindful of everything that is going on in the world, but life goes on.  And isn’t that why we continue to address the same issues?  Life must go on.  I have to work, pay bills, care for my family, exercise, eat right and try to encourage/instruct my children.  (still!!)

I was tapping this morning (yikes) and I found that one step was really hard for me, because of one little problem.  I was having a hard time with my weight on my heel and bringing my other foot off the floor.  It was all a matter of balance.  I felt awkward and terribly clumsy, but kept working on it.  After thinking it through, watching the video and practicing that one part repeatedly it finally felt better.  It probably did not look perfect, but it did feel a little more natural. Continue reading “Tap dance as life.”

Where is justice?

So today as I watch the news and watch officer involved shootings, I am…?  I am not even sure.  I am angry and upset.  I am so sad that families will be going through the emotional roller coaster, that is now their new normal.  I am tired of seeing the same bad decision making, incident after incident.

I called my son, because I knew he would be angry.  As I spoke with him, I tried to work through what I was thinking, while giving him what I hoped would be wisdom.  So I told my son that the best way we can do something at this point would be  personal.  (At this point, I had a whole paragraph of some of the things that I think need to be addressed, but trying to keep opinion out and see what God teaches me through this.) Continue reading “Where is justice?”

Happy that no one is watching

So today I am going back to the start.  I said that I have typically 20 things going on in my head at one time, so I am trying to clear everything else out and focus on one thing.  I have my tap board ready, my shoes and a video of simple instructions.  I have to get practicing if I am going to be ready for next year’s National Tap Dance Day.

It has been a couple of weeks since building my board, and trying it out for a fekeep-calm-and-tap-dance-48w minutes.  Why haven’t I stepped back on you ask?  Well, this morning I was asking myself the same thing.  I thought back over the past couple of weeks, and wondered what happened?  What took my excitement away?  Where did the drive go to accomplish something new ?  I know the whole tap dancing thing seems a little trivial, but it really is a means to deal with other things that are truly not so trivial.  Insecurities, health, doubt, fear, fitness and choosing the freedom to live life joyfully.

 

I look back on the last few weeks, and I see doubt and fear raising their ugly heads.  These two monsters have been attacking me with a vengeance.  The avenues of attack?  It has been finances, writing, back pain and even discouragement.  So where is my defense?  I got a kick star280px-Gossamer_restoredt from reading the bible, making props for storytelling, helping my husband and reading some Max Lucado.  That is all just to stay afloat.  I also listened to an author/speaker named John Maxwell, and he was talking about one of his books, “Today Matters”.  There was a lot in it, but my quick take away was if you put something off until tomorrow, it is more than likely it will never get done.

 

I have been legitimately busy, but I noticed that this was the only thing that I kept putting off day after day. That caught my attention.  I always put off doing what I don’t like, is hardest or most uncomfortable for me.  It is a pattern.  So when I see this, I know I have to attack it.  So here I am, ready to wage war on my fear and insecurity through the art of dance.  OK, I use the word art and dance very loosely.  You have heard the saying, “Dance like no one is watching.”  Well I can tell you, I have never been more thankful that no one is watching.

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