So I have been thinking about the nature of encouragement and discouragement. As I said in my opening salvo I wanted to be a writer. At least I think I did? It was just so long ago, that I have a hard time trying to remember why I did not pursue writing as some type of career. I have just recently started to weed through memories to figure out the motivation behind my actions. There was one memory that came to me, as there was only one time I can actually remember telling someone that I wanted to be a writer. I don’t remember exactly when it was, but I was in high school, maybe even a senior by that time. I happened to be having a conversation with our next door neighbor’s daughter. She was older than I was, a woman, married with two children at that time. I am sure she was just making simple conversation, as we were sitting on the front porch, but I am beginning to think that the conversation had more of an impact than either of us could have imagined. Why did I tell her? I am not really sure? Maybe it was as simple as no one had ever asked me before.
It was there on the porch, that she told me that her husband was a writer working for the newspaper. I really do not remember all of the details of the conversation, I just remember the negative feelings it produced. What little I do remember was about all of the college I would have to attend, and how difficult it was to find a job in the business. I also remember feeling embarrassed. Maybe because I had told her something that I had not shared with anyone else, and her response was so negative. Her opinion was obviously colored by her husbands experience, and that perspective then colored her response to me.
Did that discourage me? Probably to some extent. Remember though, I danced in the closet, I wasn’t exactly an open book. Maybe if I had reached out to someone closer to me, I would have gotten a more positive response. I did not though, and so there was nothing to counter the negative advice. That brings me to the million dollar question. To what extent do our words tear down? How much does it take? So on the flip side of that, do our words have the ability to build up? How much encouragement does it take? I was wondering what I would be writing about in this blog, and for the time, I guess my question has been answered. I am laying down on the couch, and inviting you to my therapy sessions. We now have a privileged relationship. So you know what that means? What happens in the blog stays in the blog. It’s kind of like Vegas, except you will definitely wake up in your own bed.