For the chance to sit at the furthest fire. 

This was the last line of a dream I was having this morning.  I don’t typically wake up when I am dreaming, but I did on this one.  That is the only line I remember from the dream, but I do remember how the events unfolded.

It was like a Rock Hudson, Doris Day movie.  He, Rock, had just left the homestead for lack of a better description, and was headed to who knows where? It was at that point that Doris came out from an old truck, that she had stubbornly retreated too since the fight between them.  She would not occupy the same home as him, so he left.  Why were they fighting?  I have no idea.  It was like I was coming in on the last scene of the third act of a play.

As Doris walked past me into the house, stubbornly holding on to her pride.  I then turned from the home and walked toward a bonfire where there were people sitting watching the interaction.  It was then I was met by Gregory Peck.  Who knew?   He spoke to me, and while I cannot remember the exact words, I got the impression of our story.  I could tell that we had a relationship, like I was a woman waiting for a man to wake up to his feelings for her.  When we met, he spoke beautiful words to me.  When I woke up, all I wanted to do is remember exactly what he said.  What I did remember was the feeling that his words evoked.  I felt love, peace and strength, I totally wanted to go back to the dream.  Then came his last words to me,  “For the chance to sit at the furthest fire.”  The last line speaks to the length of time I had waited,  the time it took to finally realize that it was us who should be sitting together at that fire.  When I recounted the story to my husband, I said that at the end of my dream conversation, we kissed.  When we did, it didn’t make sense.  Even in the dream, I knew it was not a lover’s kiss, but I could not pin down why it seemed so weird.

The more I thought about the dream, I wondered that maybe it wasn’t me who had been waiting?  Maybe it was him?    Could it have been me who realized where she belonged?  The flash of pride in the dream, reminded me of my own pride.  Did I mention that Gregory was old….and had white hair and a beard? Was this man in my dreams really a stand in for God?  Was He trying to tell me something through the dream?   Was he trying to confirm the path I was taking?

I am not sure?  All I know is that no matter how long it takes, I want the chance to find my place and nobody else’s, at the fire.