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Cheryl Mendoza

How He speaks to me…..Or… can't He just call my cell when He wants to talk?

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Insecurity

Tap dance as life.

Viva La Revolution!!  And I do not mean some kind of violent upheaval, I mean the spinning around till you get back to the start.  That is where I am today, back to getting some tapping done.  I am trying to be mindful of everything that is going on in the world, but life goes on.  And isn’t that why we continue to address the same issues?  Life must go on.  I have to work, pay bills, care for my family, exercise, eat right and try to encourage/instruct my children.  (still!!)

I was tapping this morning (yikes) and I found that one step was really hard for me, because of one little problem.  I was having a hard time with my weight on my heel and bringing my other foot off the floor.  It was all a matter of balance.  I felt awkward and terribly clumsy, but kept working on it.  After thinking it through, watching the video and practicing that one part repeatedly it finally felt better.  It probably did not look perfect, but it did feel a little more natural. Continue reading “Tap dance as life.”

Happy that no one is watching

So today I am going back to the start.  I said that I have typically 20 things going on in my head at one time, so I am trying to clear everything else out and focus on one thing.  I have my tap board ready, my shoes and a video of simple instructions.  I have to get practicing if I am going to be ready for next year’s National Tap Dance Day.

It has been a couple of weeks since building my board, and trying it out for a fekeep-calm-and-tap-dance-48w minutes.  Why haven’t I stepped back on you ask?  Well, this morning I was asking myself the same thing.  I thought back over the past couple of weeks, and wondered what happened?  What took my excitement away?  Where did the drive go to accomplish something new ?  I know the whole tap dancing thing seems a little trivial, but it really is a means to deal with other things that are truly not so trivial.  Insecurities, health, doubt, fear, fitness and choosing the freedom to live life joyfully.

 

I look back on the last few weeks, and I see doubt and fear raising their ugly heads.  These two monsters have been attacking me with a vengeance.  The avenues of attack?  It has been finances, writing, back pain and even discouragement.  So where is my defense?  I got a kick star280px-Gossamer_restoredt from reading the bible, making props for storytelling, helping my husband and reading some Max Lucado.  That is all just to stay afloat.  I also listened to an author/speaker named John Maxwell, and he was talking about one of his books, “Today Matters”.  There was a lot in it, but my quick take away was if you put something off until tomorrow, it is more than likely it will never get done.

 

I have been legitimately busy, but I noticed that this was the only thing that I kept putting off day after day. That caught my attention.  I always put off doing what I don’t like, is hardest or most uncomfortable for me.  It is a pattern.  So when I see this, I know I have to attack it.  So here I am, ready to wage war on my fear and insecurity through the art of dance.  OK, I use the word art and dance very loosely.  You have heard the saying, “Dance like no one is watching.”  Well I can tell you, I have never been more thankful that no one is watching.

To tap or not to tap….

So today is May 25th, National Tap Dance Day.  It is kind of ironic in light of a few facts.  One, my blog started off talking about my dancing in the closet when I was a kid.   Specifically tap dancing in the closet.  Second, I had just sent a video to my husband yesterday by the Syncopated Ladies.  This is a group of very talented ladies, doing a tap number to “When doves cry” by Prince.  I sent the video to him and let him know that I want to do that!  So today he was researching how to make me a tap board.  It is just a small platform, for lack of a better term, that I can tap on.  We were looking at a couple of YouTube videos and making some plans so I can start learning, when all of a sudden we learned it was National Tap Dance Day.  I really do think God has an amazing sense of humor.

I am thinking that by the next celebration of this holiday, I need to be a tap dancer.  I already have my tap shoes, as they are a holdover from when I lived in San Jose.  I had just started taking some classes through the rec department when we had to move.  I guess it is now time to dust them off and get them ready for a new challenge.  The closet will no longer be my studio.  It is funny, I guess this will be part of my journey.  While it may seem silly or even a stupid goal when you look at the problems of the world, for me it is just another step in becoming the woman God made me to be.  A woman with a tender heart, who lives honestly and tries to reflect the amazing relationship that I have with Jesus.  Is tap dancing a part of that reflection?  Crazy as it sounds, I totally think so!!

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