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Cheryl Mendoza

How He speaks to me…..Or… can't He just call my cell when He wants to talk?

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Doing what I gotta do…..

So today I worked on finding an illustrator.  It may not sound hard, but it was.  Unfortunately, I probably am to blame for that.  I tend to overthink things, and try to figure out the odds before I even make the attempt to do something.  It is a self-defeating cycle that I tend to go through with many things, but I always do it when I am scared.

I should be really happy.  I am done with my picture book, frankly I have been done for a while, and I am just trying to find an illustrator.  So what is so hard about that?  Well, it seems that I am just a big chicken.  Fear eats at my soul, it runs that deep.  And it sucks!  I am tired of the fear, but it just continues to rear its ugly head continually.  I am beginning to feel like this post is a therapy session, I guess I should be laying down for this. Continue reading “Doing what I gotta do…..”

Steps to follow…

For a long time, I regretted that I did not talk to my great grandmother about her life.  She was 99 years old when she passed away, and while  alzheimers ate away at the last few years of her life, I still had plenty of opportunity to talk to her.   The thought that this sweet lady would have firsthand accounts of history never even occurred to me.

UnknownI have thought about this regret at various times in my life, and it typically makes me pretty sad.  Her birthday is St Patricks day, so thoughts of her came to mind again.  This year though, I found that my perspective had changed.  You see, what I finally realized was what she did teach me was worth much more than what she didn’t.  It was pretty funny, because I have always known what an example of love she was to all who knew her.  This year though, I realized why everyone loved her so much.  Well, it was because she loved us!   Warts and all!   She loved us all so much, that we couldn’t help but love her back! Continue reading “Steps to follow…”

Only passing through…

I saw a tweet the other day by Christine Caine; “Don’t get stuck somewhere you should only be passing through.”

It immediately struck a chord with me, because that is a fear of mine.  Here I am trying to become a serious, or at least a somewhat serious writer, but will that truly ever happen for me?  Will I ever be able to write something that makes people think, or something that speaks truth into their lives?  That encourages them or even makes them laugh?  I have no idea, but the path I am on means that I am at least going to try.    There is a fear though, that I will get discouraged and stop putting myself out there.  Why? Well, because I have done that before.  I might get sidetracked, and yes I have been there too.  It reminded me of a favorite bible character that I have.

You see, he took his family out of the place that they had been living.  That place was Ur.  The story says that they were traveling to Canaan but they stopped at Haran and settled there.  No friends, this is not about Abraham, but of his father Terah.

Why did the tweet lead me to this man?  Well I will tell you.  I know I am taking a little license, but it seems to make sense to me.  I imagine that God may have told Terah to go to Canaan.  Maybe this whole story of God calling out a people was going to start, not with Abraham, but with his father?   Maybe, for whatever reason, he stopped in Haran and never got to the place where God had called him.

Are my assumptions true?  I have no idea, but I still look to Terah as an example of what I do not want to be.  He was on his way to a destination, and got sidetracked.  The why’s and how’s are unknown, but what we do know is that he never got there.  That is not how I want to be, but I fear that is how I will be.  I see the path, but I don’t really know where I will end up.  It scares me, because it means trying to be successful at something that is very subjective. Truthfully, you all may find out how really very stupid I am.  Or at least, that is the fear.

Well since I am not supposed to be “fearing” anything, per my pastor last week, I guess I will stick to the path.  Truthfully, I really don’t want to miss out on what may be at the end of the journey.  I really don’t want to be Terah.  I want to make it to the place where God calls me.  Like the quote that started all of this, I don’t want to get stuck somewhere I should only be passing through.

 

 

Ready for my close up….

img_4817I have a new office.  Well, it is actually one of the same old bedrooms in our house, but we have given it a major overhaul.  It has been cleaned and painted from top to bottom, adorned with a new desk, rug and drapes.  The things that were in this room are coming back in one at a time.  With each item, I am taking the time to see if I truly need it or not.  This room had previously housed our computer, desk and other “office” stuff.  It had also become a catch all for everything else.  When that happened, it became a room that I did not like.  There were things in the room that did not belong, and other things that needed to be addressed, but could be ignored because they were hidden in the chaos.

 

As I sit here enjoying the fruits of my hard work, I know the room is a metaphor for my life.  Every so often, God sharpens my vision and gives me a clearer view into my heart.  He lets me see the mess that has accumulated and not only does He give me the desire to clean it up, He gives me the ability to do it.  How do I make this connection between this room make-over and my life?  Well it has to do with two things.  Provision and insecurity.  These are two fears are the stumbling blocks in my life, but with each new day, God is giving me the will and the way to overcome them. Continue reading “Ready for my close up….”

Points to ponder..Marco Rubio speech

So this is not what was on my agenda for the morning, but I had to sit and quickly get it out.  I was doing my normal morning check of Yahoo to see if there was anything interesting going on, and I saw a Washington Post article that caught my attention.

“Marco Rubio just gave a really important speech – but almost no one paid attention” 

Now that headline coming from the Washington Post was enough to get me to read the article.  Even better than that though, they posted the video of the speech.  After reading the article, I watched the speech in its entirety and I would encourage everyone to watch it also.  I am glad I watched, as I took away two important things to consider.

First, it is about how we are going down a rabbit hole, my words not his, of not being able to have civilized debate on the issues.  He sees that as a problem, and on that point I agree wholeheartedly.   It is about eight minutes long, but really worth your time.  And while I have had this type of opinion for a while now, I am glad that I am not the only one thinking….what the heck?    I think you can disagree with this man on everything, but can agree that we have to communicate and try to understand each other, even when we hold different views.  Especially when we hold different views!

Now I did say that there were two important points, and this is the second one.  I did read the article from the Post, and while the author agreed with what the Senator said about the state of debate in our country, he also seemed to cast aspersions on the Senator himself.  Just reminding us that he is a politician, and you know?  That Rubio was saying this maybe not from his heart, but because it would serve his “long-term best interests”.   After I read the article, I watched the video itself, and agreed that it contained important thoughts.  So I decided that I would post it, but did not necessarily want to post the article with it.  So I Googled the speech, and that is when I really came to my second point.  I saw more headlines about the speech, but these had a different take.

“The Marco Rubio knockdown of Elizabeth Warren no liberal media outlet will cover”

Each side took the same speech, saw it through their own beliefs and gave it a little spin.  How can the same words have such different reactions?   What does it show me?  Well, it says to me that when we hear the news, we only get part of the information.  From both sides.  So do your due diligence.  Before you get all hot and bothered by someone’s remarks, go to the source.  Find the video, document or whatever!  If you can’t do that, then hold back that little bit in your brain that acknowledges that you might be wrong.  That you might not have been given the whole picture.  Maybe that will even help us with understanding each other.

So I would encourage you to listen to the speech.  To not worry about who is saying it, why he is saying it, and where he is saying it.  To take his remarks, on their own merit.  I know this is hard.  After you listen, consider his remarks and see how you feel just about the words said.  Make up your mind as to whether they make sense or not, and if you can take some wisdom out of them.  After that, you may go back to agreeing or disagreeing with him, as is your pleasure.

*I did not post a link on purpose.  If you are interested in seeing the video just Google Marco Rubio speech and you will find it.   

 

Lost on SR155

So it is Saturday, and that means my hubby wants to practice with his new camera.  The thing about that is, he always wants me to go with him.  He was disappointed this morning, since I had an appointment at 9:00 and that means any day trip wouldn’t start till after 10:00.  We are kind of a get up at the crack of dawn and miss the traffic kind of travelers, so waiting till that late in the morning was hard for him.  I think I made it up to him though, as I got us a bit lost which gave us a bit more of an adventure.

We were supposed to be heading to the Tule Elk State Nature Reserve, but I got it mixed up and we ended up at the Kern National Wildlife Refuge.

The place where we wound up was closed, can you imagine?  It was only open for the duck hunters, which is not the kind of shooting we do.  We made a note to come back, especially when a big hawk flew over us moving from a tree to a telephone pole.  It was amazing!

So I attached a few pictures.  Since I had steered us wrong, I knew I had to make it up to him.  So I told him he could drive, and he did.  We wound up going into the foothills on SR155.  We saw blue sky, the small town (?) of Woody, beautiful green valleys and cowboys.  It was a wonderful day.  We now know a great route to drive for some beautiful scenery and two places that we will visit in the future.  More places to explore, and more pictures to take. dsc_0914

 

Influencing faith?

Ok…so there is some crazy things about this whole writing gig.  I have a love hate relationship with it.  I love when I am done.  When I feel like what I wanted to say is clear, it honors God and is not too embarrassing about myself.  If I hit all three ofwhiskey-typewriter-shutterstock-570x380
those criteria, I am ecstatic.  I feel like I am doing what God is calling me to do.  To make it even better, if I can get a catchy last line to sum it all up, I treat myself to some ice cream.  When I am working through something though, I cannot stand it.  Maybe this is why some writers drink so much?   Maybe I should skip the ice cream and move on to scotch?  No.

At first, I am typically inspired by something that happens, but as I continue to write, I feel inept, unsure and have no idea why God is calling me to write anything?  It is weird.  It is why I try to write as fast as I can, so that I can finish it quickly while I still feel the excitement of that first discovery. how-often-blog-why-blogging-writing-ideasWell today I was not so much inspired, but compelled.  You see I was cruising my FaceBook, cuz ya know I have the dreaded disease, FOMO.  Fear of missing out.  So instead of just attacking my lap top to write I start scrolling, and at times it stresses me out.  So why do I do it?  FOMO.  Anyway, I was reading a post by a blogger, who was talking about a Christian blogger who had posted that she was separating from her spouse.  OK, so that is guaranteed to get my attention.  Neither of these bloggers are anyone that I “follow”(man I hate that term) but I know I have read posts by them before.   So because I am like a cat, totally curious, I went to the post where she announces her separation to see what she wrote.  OK, to tell you the truth, I just skimmed it.  She is not someone that I know personally or follow, so her decision does not produce any other emotion than just heart break for her situation.  What I did think was ironic is her new book that was just being released.   It was about her marriage, the problems they had and how they have walked through it.  It was then I wondered about the influence she hoped to have with women, and how this new turn in her story affected that?

I really wondered about this whole online community thing, especially since I am trying to wiggle my way into it.  Is it a good way to influence people?  Is it bad?  I am not sure what the answers are to the questions, but it reminded me of how I want my online presence to be perceived.  I am not here to tell people what to do, or even what I think God is telling them to do.  There is more than enough of that already. (My hubby and kids can ignore this part, I am so totally here to tell them what to do)   I am not here to say that I have the answers to any aspect of life.  All I am here to do is relay what God is teaching me.  That being a Christian can look pretty messy, but it is a lovely mess.  I am here to tell my story, and the simple ways that God speaks to me in my boring everyday life.  It is a glimpse of what faith looks like for me, but it is not necessarily a template for what it should look like for you.  What I am thankful for most in my life, is what I want to encourage everyone to seek.  Their own faith.  God is good, and if you seek Him you better believe you are going to find Him.   Just don’t be shocked by where He might show up.

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If you agree, disagree, I have irritated you or made you think, leave me a comment.  I would be interested to hear any feedback on the topic or how it was written.   Thanks!

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