Cheryl Mendoza

I have a new office.  Well, it is actually one of the same old bedrooms in our house, but we have given it a major overhaul.  It has been cleaned and painted from top to bottom, adorned with a new desk, rug and drapes.  The things that were in this room are coming back in one at a time.  With each item, I am taking the time to see if I truly need it or not.  This room had previously housed our computer, desk and other “office” stuff.  It had also become a catch all for everything else.  When that happened, it became a room that I did not like.  There were things in the room that did not belong, and other things that needed to be addressed, but could be ignored because they were hidden in the chaos.

As I sit here enjoying the fruits of my hard work, I know the room is a metaphor for my life.  Every so often, God sharpens my vision and gives me a clearer view into my heart.  He lets me see the mess that has accumulated and not only does He give me the desire to clean it up, He gives me the ability to do it.  How do I make this connection between this room make-over and my life?  Well it has to do with two things.  Provision and insecurity.  These are two fears are the stumbling blocks in my life, but with each new day, God is giving me the will and the way to overcome them.

In doing this room, God showed me again how He continues to provide for us.  When God gave both my hubby and I the “will” to get this done, He also gave us the “way” through a timely “gift?” from Uncle Sam.   And how did my insecurity fare during the redo?  Well, let’s just say that I march to the beat of a different drummer.  I did the normal stuff, you know, painting walls and trim.  I also did some other things that are less than perfect.  For me though, I love it.  It does not matter if it is not perfect.  It does not matter if someone else would have done it differently, or even if they would have done it better.  What matters is that I did not worry about how anyone else would view the space.  OK, so I might have worried a little bit, but overcame it.  What mattered is that I worked hard and made a room where I am happy.  A space where I can study, write and see where God is taking me next.

As I sit here, I am listening to music from the movie, The Holiday.  It is one that I really like, as it is the story of a couple of women and the transformations they go through.  I listen to a lot of soundtrack music.  I guess it makes me feel like I am the lead character in my own life story.  Now that my room is pretty much done, I feel like the scene has been set.  In this act, she is in her new study and then something happens?  I am not sure what that is yet?  Maybe in this scene I have turned a corner?  God has again shown me that He is bigger than my own fears.  Maybe at this point, He opens that new door to the next big thing He has in store for me?  Or maybe He is just going to continue to work on this old heart, until like my room, it is cleaned, renewed and ready to be used.