christian

Enjoying the joy!

So today I was thinking, I haven’t written in my blog in a couple of days. How can I be a writer if I don’t write? Since my blog is typically the things that I see God teaching me, I was kinda stressed that I did not have anything to write about. Is He ignoring me? Am I ignoring Him? I then took a good look at my week and calmed down.

I have been working on a children’s story that I wrote about eight years ago, so I really haven’t been idle, but it is hard though when there is no feedback. When I write in the blog, I at least feel like I accomplish something when I hit the post button. Editing a story, is much less satisfying. I am telling you, every day is a battle in my own brain.

This evening though, I felt that my mind is in a better pla 63419-keep-calm-and-love-cooking ce. How do I know? Well it has to do with some of the other things I have been doing this week. I have been doing some deep cleaning in my kitchen, tap dancing and cooking. Why are these things important? Well if I am not writing, I feel guilty. When I feel guilty, I start getting fearful, I doubt and have a hard time being productive in anything I am doing. This week though, I tried to find some balance. The balance that I need between writing, taking care of my family, working on my own insecurities and trying to be who I think God wants me to be. I am not sure if I got the balance right this week, but I feel like I made a better attempt.

It then hit me that God had been speaking to me this week, I just needed all of the pieces to come together to see it. He gave me a vision of what my life can look like, when I am not living in the land of doubt and fear. When I choose to live like I say I believe, and trust Him. From the outside it may not look really different, but to the inside of me, it is like night and day.

But make everyone rejoice who puts his trust in you. Keep them shouting for joy because you are defending them. Fill all who love you with your happiness. Psalm 51:11 NLT

September 26, 2016 1

A bigger circle…

new-member-to-circle-image-white-background-34649901 I wound up helping in a pre-K/Kindergarten Sunday school class this weekend. I was not teaching the lesson, but was just helping to wrangle kids into their places and have some fun while they learned. It was pretty funny though, because where has God taught me the most? It has been from serving in this classroom. What does that say about my maturity? I don’t really think I want to know, but I am glad He uses this room to speak to me.

So as we gathered the kids for circle time, we began to run out of room. It was then I said, “let’s make our circle bigger, so that we can let more friends in”. As we continued to adjust kids in the circle, I was thanking God for those words. They are a lesson to me, and a prayer for those kids.

I can close my eyes and picture that circle of kids. Hands that are holding their friends, releasing and letting go. Bodies that shift, for more room, to let another friend enter and then hands are clasped again. We have a pretty diverse makeup of students in the class, and to see them let go of hands to let others join in, seemed like a small glimpse into heaven. I am thankful that He uses the kids in that room to speak to me!

September 20, 2016 0

Stressed?

This morning I was getting ready, as it is a new commitment of mine, to walk every day. I am getting older, and totally feeling it, so I am trying to somewhat slow that process. During these walks, I typically pray and listen to music. Depending on the day, I could be listening to 70’s light rock, Christian rock, classical, jazz, well the list goes on. I have just put into Pandora the Henry Mancini station, and I am loving it! If you do not know who that is, and you love movie music, Google him.

I was listening to Good Morning America as I was putting on my shoes, and they were images talking about kids and stress. They gave a few suggestions on how to help them deal with it, like meditation or yoga, and getting out into nature. They also pointed out that the parents stress level and how they dealt with it was an important factor. Which I think could be THE most important factor. Anyway, as I sat there I thought she had missed something. There was no mention of God. Now I understand that He is not everyone’s cup of tea, but isn’t He at least an option?

So I finished getting ready and grabbed my phone and turned Pandora from the country station (Eww!) that my son was listening to, and thought about what station I would put it on this morning. I was about to put in Henry Mancini, (they always play the Magnificent 7 theme and it always gets me fiyzwzkhqyfhwikccpi9 going) but I changed my mind. I had already been feeling a little sad, mad, and irritated this morning, so I decided that I would need some encouragement. So the Christian rock station was the choice for today. While at times I have to admit, I am a little bored with the station, this morning I knew I probably needed it. While I don’t always love the music, I cannot argue with the lyrics. Well on some I probably can, but that is a whole different post.

The first song this morning was exactly what I needed to hear. It talked about holding on to God, and those are exactly the words He has been using lately to give me hope. So off I went with a smile on my face and a lighter step than just five minutes before. It was then God reminded me of Good Morning America, and stress. Now I know for me, turning to God seems like a natural reaction because I am a Christian. It ain’t so simple though. I don’t know about other Christians, but I struggle to seek God first for the clarity, comfort and peace in times of stress. (And I would guess that I am not the only one) This morning was a great example of how I want to do it every day. Looking to God, even before emotions and stress overtake me.

images-1 I did like some of the suggestions from the show this morning, but I would add to them. If you or your child are feeling the inevitable stress of life, why don’t you give God a chance? Seek out a church, a Christian friend, a bible study or just sit down and have a chat with Him. You may find some peace, comfort, and rest from the stress that is plaguing you.

“…..May God bless you richly and grant you increasing freedom from all anxiety and fear.” 1 Peter 1:2b

September 17, 2016 0

Of men and joy

And so my children, listen to me, for all who follow my ways are joyful. Proverbs 8:32

So I enjoy being a mom. I am not one of the mom’s that laments the fact that her

img_1056-1 — Not sure where the floating bunny ears came from.

children have grown. I loved them when they were little, but as they grew, each age brought its own joy and pain. I wouldn’t say that I have enjoyed all the stages of their growth, some stages were better than others, but each new screw up brings wisdom. Or so one hopes.

So one of my oldest son was stressing at work the other day, and had sent me a text to pray. It was great, because not only did I pray for him, but I was able to give him some encouragement from a blog I had just written. I love when God gives the answer, even before you knew there was a question. During the conversation, I told him that he should think long and hard about pursuing something that he loved. That he should spend some time dreaming or imagining what it would look like to make that dream a reality.

So the next day I texted him to check out his stress level and he let me know that he was good. Me though, I was a different story. It was a bad day for me, and so by the time I was talking to him, I was finally getting some writing done. It was then that he said he had been thinking about my writing. Since he was contemplating his own dreams, he started thinking about my own pursuit. He asked what kind of writing I wanted to do? He then proceeded to tell me how Prince wrote two songs a day, even though some were never published. He then pointed out how very left-brain my writing seemed to be, and that maybe I needed to use the right side for some short fictional stories. When I told him that I was not sure what I wanted to write, he brought up JK Rowling and how he doubted that she knew exactly what she was writing that first day in the coffee shop.

Our texts finally tapered off and I felt good. He had given me a different perspective, and that seemed to give me some energy. I was able to finish a blog post and it was a little different than others I had posted, so I felt good. Accomplished.

It wasn’t till today that I went back to revisit the texts from my son. I am so used to being the encouraging one, that to be on the receiving end is a different angle for me. It was funny, I don’t think he meant to encourage me, I just think he was asking que img_3126-1 stions. It gives me hope. Not only for myself and the path that I am taking, but for him and his path of growing and learning who God made him to be.
No, I don’t miss those little boys at all. They were adorable and I loved them very much, but it is the men that they are growing into that is so much more exciting. While they still make a lot of mistakes and are not perfect, I can see growth as they continue to learn and gain wisdom. That above all else brings me joy and gives me hope.

September 6, 2016 0

Holding on…

“I will not let you go unless you bless me.” Genesis 32:26b

These past few weeks I have been watching a lot of the Olympics. I have not sat down for long stretches of time, but if I was able to catch a few minutes, I did. One of those times included watching the end of a wrestling match between Russia and Uzbekistan. At the end of the match, the Uzbek athlete lost, and proceeded to lay in the middle of the mat inconsolable. The referee or umpire or whatever they are called in wrestling, stood there offering a hand that was ignored. Finally, after what seemed a long time, he got up and stood there as the other athlete was called the winner. I made note of his actions, and didn’t think of them again until today.

I have been listening to a sermon podcast from church, and that is what brought the wrestler back to mind. Why? Well, after listening to this sermon, I really could relate to the guy on the mat. It was like if he stayed on the mat, then the match wasn’t really over. As he laid there, I wondered what was going through his mind? Maybe he was wrestling with his own emotions and thoughts. Then when he could bear the outcome, he was finally able to get up. It gave me a better picture of the story of Jacob and the night he wrestled with God. Even better than that, the whole story seemed to give me a better picture of my own wrestling with God.

Here is the quick rundown. Esau and Jacob were brothers, and Esau being the oldest was in line for the birthright and blessing from his father. These two brothers had two different mothers so there were a whole bunch of dysfunctional family dynamics going on. What winds up happening is that Jacob manipulates the situation and steals both the birthright and blessing. At that point Esau is mad as all get out and vows to kill his brother, so Jacob runs away.

While Jacob is gone, God guides him and blesses him, but It is not always pretty. He gets conned by his father in law, Laban. Then he is able to do some conning of his own, since he had been taken advantage of. God eventually tells him to return home, back to the land of his father and grandfather, where God promises to be with him. Jacob is now husband to two wives, baby daddy to two servants and father to many children. He came home very wealthy as he had flocks of many animals and lots of servants.

One thing he did not have was the knowledge of what waited for him at home. Would Esau welcome him? Would he still be calling for Jacobs blood? Jacob was terrified. So what does he do? Well he reminds God of all the promises that He made to Jacob and his family. The one’s where God said He would protect Jacob if he returned home, and that He would multiply Jacob’s descendants until they were as many as the sand on the beach. So Jacob then slept peacefully reminded of all God’s promises, right? Continue reading “Holding on…” →

August 26, 2016 0

Looking for Harmony

I went to a bible study this morning, and I think there was some shock that I was there. This was actually my second time there and when I walked in the first time, it was quite a surprise. I was by the far the youngest person in the room. I would say that most of them were a good 20 years older than me, and retired. Grandchildren and great grandchildren was their reality, mine is just finishing getting my children out of the house.

So I sat, and they were all introduced to me and I to them. It was funny, and while I felt a bit out of place, they were all more than kind to me. After the study, I was not sure if I would go back. It had more to do with how they ran the study, than anything else, but I had decided to go at least the one more time before their August break.

So today, I walked into the class and was warmly greeted by all. After the class, I made conversation with one of the ladies as she had asked prayer for her daughter and a job decision that was coming up. From the way she spoke, I assumed her daughter lived in the bay area, and since that is where I am from, it gave me an “in” to have a conversation. We spoke of her daughter, where she lived and the decision she would be soon making. It was a nice conversation, and I was glad that I had found an opening to speak with her.

At that point, the teacher of the group walked out with me and made a comment that made me smile. She handed me the binder of study materials that they were using and said that it was OK if I did not come back. She said it nicely, and I know it was because she recognized that this group was not my peers, and not out of a desire to get me out of the group. Whatever my feelings were before, by that time, I knew I would be back. Really, how could I not? This is a group of women that I could learn from, and like I told her, I might teach them a thing or two also.

Meeting these ladies also fits into the scheme of the new me. I want to be challenged by who I know, and seek out those who ha images-1 ve a different experience than I do. I want to hear their stories, and see from their perspective. This is important to me. Why? I think it is so I can meet people where they are, and not where I think they should be. I think that is a lot of the problem with the world. We expect everyone to be like….well us.

Everyone thinks we need to be unified, but I don’t like to think in terms of unity, but more like harmony. Unity seems like sameness to me, and I know that in our ways of thinking many of us are not the same. I like to think more in terms of harmony. We are singing different parts, that look and sound awfully different. All of us singing with the same goal 9165c3e52b881ae39233a13d8c8df74d in mind. It may sound a bit discordant when you take each part separately, but when it is all put together by a Master Conductor, we get something that is beyond what we could ever imagine. I cannot wait to hear their stories, and seek out the harmony that He creates

August 11, 2016 4

Right time, right place.

Today was a day of encouragement. Some of it I gave, and some of it I received. The events were nothing spectacular, but it is typically the small things that can have the most impact. This morning, I went to the grocery store, and by the time I came out, my car was in the shade. It was a simple thing, but in the heat of the Central Valley, it provided welcome relief even from this morning’s heat.

When I came home, I had to hurry and get cleaned up, as I had a massage appointment to get to. It was only twenty minutes, but after the stress that I put myself through this week, it was like a little slice of heaven. This week my regular therapist was back from a maternity sabbatical, and I was happy to see her. After my massage, we sat and talked for a few minutes. First she gave me the update about the new baby and the challenges of being a new mom. I told her some of my experiences with the boys, and encouraged her to use her own good sense to make decisions. I advised her to not worry about what other people say she should do, but to take the advice and use her best judgement. I then told her that I had quit my job, and that I was working at blogging and trying to “reinvent” myself. It was then that she was able to give some encouraging words to me. It was a great conversation, and I left feeling better in both body and spirit. Continue reading “Right time, right place.” →

July 17, 2016 0

Tap dance as life.

Viva La Revolution!! And I do not mean some kind of violent upheaval, I mean the spinning around till you get back to the start. That is where I am today, back to getting some tapping done. I am trying to be mindful of everything that is going on in the world, but life goes on. And isn’t that why we continue to address the same issues? Life must go on. I have to work, pay bills, care for my family, exercise, eat right and try to encourage/instruct my children. (still!!)

I was tapping this morning (yikes) and I found that one step was really hard for me, because of one little problem. I was having a hard time with my weight on my heel and bringing my other foot off the floor. It was all a matter of balance. I felt awkward and terribly clumsy, but kept working on it. After thinking it through, watching the video and practicing that one part repeatedly it finally felt better. It probably did not look perfect, but it did feel a little more natural. Continue reading “Tap dance as life.” →

July 13, 2016 1

Where is justice?

So today as I watch the news and watch officer involved shootings, I am…? I am not even sure. I am angry and upset. I am so sad that families will be going through the emotional roller coaster, that is now their new normal. I am tired of seeing the same bad decision making, incident after incident.

I called my son, because I knew he would be angry. As I spoke with him, I tried to work through what I was thinking, while giving him what I hoped would be wisdom. So I told my son that the best way we can do something at this point would be personal. (At this point, I had a whole paragraph of some of the things that I think need to be addressed, but trying to keep opinion out and see what God teaches me through this.) Continue reading “Where is justice?” →

July 7, 2016 3

Cheryl Mendoza

How He speaks to me…..Or… can't He just call my cell when He wants to talk?

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