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Cheryl Mendoza

How He speaks to me…..Or… can't He just call my cell when He wants to talk?

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Lent: Recipe to remember….

So yesterday I joined my small group for a Fat Tuesday menu of gumbo, rice and king cake.  It was delicious, and since my friend Paige cooked, it was quite authentic.  I love traditions!  And since Fat Tuesday is over, that means  it’s Ash Wednesday and the beginning of Lent.   I love this season and try to use it as a time of focus.  Each year it’s had a little different look, but this year I’m really trying to get back in that writing habit.  I’ve had a hard time writing in the past few years for many reasons, but to tell you the truth, the biggest problem has been me!  So I am going back to the beginning, and that strange recipe that God has given me to make communication easier.  Strangely enough, it just comes down to three little words, wrestling, writing and encourage!

 The WWE acronym had me cracking up this morning since wrestling is the first step in the process.  Typically it’s something that comes to my attention, and I then wrestle with God to process, learn and maybe find some wisdom for my life.  I then write about the process in the hopes it would encourage someone else like it’s encouraged me.  I am not a bible scholar, and I am not here to tell you how to live.  I just hope what I say might make you think and start your own wrestling with God.  

So today, I felt like I had a directional adjustment!  Priorities were put back in place and how to use the time of Lent became a little clearer.  I was reminded of who I am and Whose I am in this world.  And while I was thankful for the clarity, I was even more thankful for the extremely funny way it was communicated! 

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What will you see?

They just won’t see.  It kept rolling around in my head as I drove. It was pretty mellow as  Christmas vacations had started and there were less cars out on the road.  Up ahead though, I could see the flashing lights of the highway patrol, so I slowed down and stayed in the fast lane as the police were off on the right hand side.  As I got closer, I realized there was also a car parked next to the center median.  There had been an accident, and while it wasn’t serious, there were multiple cars and a semi stopped on both sides of the highway.  It was then I looked behind me.  Cars were starting to catch up, and I figured that they just hadn’t seen the wreck yet.  They didn’t know why we were slowing down and taking our time.  As soon as I passed the stopped cars, I got over to the right lane and watched as the cars behind me went past.  Some were like me taking it easy as they passed the wreck, while others were not being so careful.  They were driving as if the road was clear and they were not navigating an accident scene.  It was then that I thought, even with it right in their face, they just won’t see. It’s not that they can’t see, since by this time they were right in the middle of all the cars involved, but they won’t see.  It broke my heart, as I was immediately thought about God and how He shows Himself to each of us.  We see the miracle of this life, but do not see who created the miracle.  It’s not that we can’t see, we just won’t see! 

I thought about it again when I started listening to a book at lunch.  The first story in the book had me hooked immediately, since it’s a favorite historical moment of mine.  The quick version?  Well it’s 1914 and it’s Christmas Eve.  You know that war that was supposed to be over by Christmas?  Well, it wasn’t.  The men on the front lines are missing home, family and their own Christmas traditions.  During this evening and through Christmas Day, the men reach out to each other to “celebrate” Christmas.  It starts slowly, but soon they are exchanging food, cigarettes, playing football  (the English kind) and sharing photos of their loved ones back home.   That night, the men were given a reprieve from this new kind of nightmare.  The mechanized muddy stalemate of men and modern warfare.  For that short time, fear, hate, and the horrors of war were defeated by something greater.  The birth of a Savior!   When the powers that be on all sides found out about what occurred in the trenches, they vow that this will not happen again.  And it never did.   That moment on the battlefield where mercy and grace won out over hate was not allowed to be repeated.  Those in charge were much like the drivers on the road, they just won’t see.  Instead of seeing the miracle of the day, and acknowledging the power of the birth narrative, they doubled down on death.  

I love the truth in the story, because it shows the heavenly in sharp contrast to our humanity.  The human part of the story is full of war, death and brutality.  The heavenly part was what brought them together, the birth of Christ!  When I hear the story of that Christmas in 1914, I always think of the shepherds in the birth narrative.  Did the angels come to see them on purpose?  Or was the jubilation in heaven so boisterous that it spilled out into the night sky!  Even the heavens couldn’t contain the excitement over the fulfillment of this very special prophecy!   Someone left the back door of heaven open, and there were the shepherds watching in amazement! Maybe that’s what happened to the soldiers on that cold December night?  The back door of heaven opened, and mercy flowed from a gracious Heavenly Father.  The men didn’t see angels, but the Spirit was there.  Like the wind, it wasn’t visible, but history shows us the effect of the Spirit’s presence.   On that Christmas Eve, the same celebration that happened so many years ago was again awakened to overcome fear and death.  For those brief hours kindness, grace and mercy flowed straight from the throne of God.  

Lord I know we all have eyes that can see, but I ask you to give us eyes that WILL see! 

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Easter: Coffee, jammies and HOPE!

IMG_4885So here we are …. Stuck in the middle again.  I felt like this last year, when Mike was recovering from brain surgery.    Now?  Well there’s nothing like a global pandemic to put life on hold.  But is life really on hold, or has the focus just shifted?   Maybe here in the middle is where we regain perspective? 

 

They were in the middle too that Saturday, but they didn’t know it yet.  They thought it was over, the wise teaching, the healing and the restoration of a nation.  Everything they had been living for was changed in one day.   Continue reading “Easter: Coffee, jammies and HOPE!” →

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Living the best life!

IMG_8198Friday was a hard day.  I had been out of sorts for the last few days.  Maybe it was hormones, a heavy heart, work, hate pouring through the tv screen or a combination of that and more.  I was blue I guess, so yesterday morning I tried to do what would put me in a better frame of mind.  I read my bible and sat in the backyard in the only cool part of the day. My yard is not any kind of oasis, but there is enough growth and color to bring me peace.  So as I sat there, I chose not to open FaceBook.  I typically do it, so it was kind of weird for me, but I went with and hoped that it would contribute to a more peaceful state of mind.

As I sat and drank coffee, I wondered if part of my feelings were due to what we have
just went through and what is coming up. God has been so good and showing me peace, provision and presence during Mike’s surgery and recovery, but I wasn’t sure if I was still feeling like that.  So as I pondered, I felt like I wanted to go back to that time.  No… not Mike going through pain.  More like I wanted my trust to go back to God, in all things. To really live my life.  I have felt fear creeping back in over things that don’t even matter, and I knew I was returning to an old way of reacting.  My mind went to an upcoming trip we’ve planned and are so excited about.  It’s not till the end of September, and I was thinking, “am I going to put living on hold till then?”  No! That isn’t right!

_DSC2940I asked God to help me resolve to identify those things that are a step backwards for me, and to help me go forward.  To LIVE fully!  Every day!  To work hard, play hard and most important…. LOVE hard.

It was encouraging and lifted me up.  God set the bar a little higher for me, helping me to look up and seek to live a life that is full and honors Him.  How better can life get?

My time in the yard ended, and I got ready for work.  As I got in the car, I opened my phone to sinc my music and FaceBook was open.  So without thinking,  I started to scroll through the feed.  It was then that I saw a post that caught my eye.  It was a verse:Though you have not seen Him, you love Him. Though you do not now see Him, you believe in Him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of our souls.” 1 Peter 1:8-9

 Now I love the verse, but I couldn’t understand why a sad face with a tear?  I don’t feel sad with that verse…. It gives me peace and brings joy of a life that comes to a full circle in faith.  It really irritated me.  I thought wait…. what kind of mixed message is that?  Then I saw it again on another post and I realized why.

61090122_372332523391263_2373045765493751808_nI had known her as a girl serving preschool kids with a knack for telling a story, my hubby knew her as a student athlete, and during her illness we met the young woman she had become.  I will always remember the day she came to our house.  Mike had set up his “photo studio” and Kay, who is a cancer survivor, came to offer encouragement to a young lady fighting her own battle. We all talked about her treatment, school, photography among other things.  Faith and hope were sprinkled in the conversation, that included lots of smiling and laughter. 

And as I sat in my car, I realized why I hadn’t looked at FaceBook that morning.  God wanted to give me an example of what he was showing me.  The right perspective before I heard the news. While she was so young, her life was well lived.  She had used it to funnel love, grace, laughter and faith to those around her.  And in that life, we see the truth of what God is encouraging us all to do. Live your best life through Him.

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Grateful still?……

IMG_0620I was thinking the other day how grateful I was.  We had just gotten back from a family wedding in San Diego, and it had been so much fun! It was just a moment when I was reflecting on the wedding, the love of family, the amazing time we had and how far we had come this year.

I thanked God for the peace, strength and all the good people He has put in our path to make it all happen.  As I sat there I wondered, would I feel this way if the outcome hadn’t been so good?     What if Mike’s health and surgery had not progressed so well?  Then I remembered that we aren’t really through it yet.

 

Continue reading “Grateful still?……” →

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You may be surprised…..

IMG_8153It’s so funny how God speaks to me.  Or maybe what’s really funny is how I listen?  I told my husband the other day that I had never dreamed about being a writer.  Like, that is what I want to do when I grow up!  Nope….never felt that way.  Writing for me is more about submission and therapy?  I write to submit my thoughts and feelings to God, and ask Him to help me sort through them.  To move from knowledge to wisdom.  Well…hopefully.

 

 

Continue reading “You may be surprised…..” →

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To laugh or not to laugh….

img_4462It’s Mother’s Day, and I am sitting here listening to Christmas music.  I know it’s crazy, but in some way it brings me comfort. It reminds me that there’s hope for this world.

 

 

It’s been quite a year packed with all sorts of crazy happenings, but also some of the sweetest moments.  And you know, the older I get, the more I see that it all goes hand in hand.  Life, death, pain and pleasure.  Love, fear, failure and triumph.  All these things occupy the same space at the same time, and it’s right that they do so.  It’s not always fun, but it’s the way it happens in this world.

There has been pressure this year.  With tumors, surgeries and unfortunately a lot of 16939225_10211261381504215_4523643083069843847_npain, but as Mike said the other day, “I don’t think I’ve laughed so much.”  It’s pretty weird because we typically laugh a lot!

I think this is the feeling you get when you truly feel loved.  I know about the whole “God so loved the world” thing, but I don’t think I’ve ever come as close to understanding it than I do right now.  We are loved by the Creator of all, and He is on my side.  Our side.  Even while we walk through scary times, I know that His love keeps us safe.  Things aren’t perfect, but I trust Him, and that gives me peace.  Because of that, we look to the future and laugh.  ‘Cuz it’s been mind blowing so far, and we still have a ways to go.

And for the record, I am listening to “Jazz Musicians Christmas” on Pandora….. so it’s not really like listening to Christmas music. IMG_0171Right?

 

 

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A little peace….

One of my favorite parts of the Easter story is of the last supper.  I have always loved how John relays how Jesus washed their feet.  I can imagine how uncomfortable they would have been, but how relaxed by the end.  I mean really….who doesn’t love a foot massage?  

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I think of the simple task of Jesus washing and drying their feet.  These men who walk everywhere, but not with the comfortable shoes of today.  No.  They are walking many miles with leather sandals of ancient times.  Can you imagine?  Ouch!  So they are sitting there, uncomfortable in the first place with Jesus assuming the role of servant.  Then as they are willing him to finish, they start to relax and kind of enjoy the slight massage of their sore and tired feet.  Before they know it, their eyes snap open and they realize that they were in total comfort.  They lock eyes with Jesus, and I can imagine the slight smile on His face.  


I think that is how He is with our lives.  We (I) fight him when he asks us (me) to do something.  I struggle like Peter with the appropriateness of the idea, and then before I know it, I am in the middle of His will and my life is filled with His peace.  I am in total comfort, and I can imagine His eyes on me.  And that same slight smile is on His face.  

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….isn’t written yet!

“So don’t make judgments about anyone ahead of time, before the Lord returns.”   ! Corinthians 4:6

UnknownI’ve said it a bit recently to those around me, “it’s not how you start, but how you finish.”  And don’t get me wrong…. It’s easier to finish well when you get out of the blocks cleanly.

We judge a person on today or their past, but we have no idea of their future and where that will lead.  The choices, experiences and people that will all come together to make a complete picture in a life.

 

I know it’s hard, but as I read the verse this morning I wondered if we judge in life, when we should just have discernment?  So I got out the old dictionary and looked at the difference between judge and discern.

Basically, discern is to recognize something as opposed to judging where you form a conclusion about it.  I mean, I can discern that someone else is doing something that is harmful or full out wrong.  I can then take steps to not be harmed by these actions, but I just can’t pronounce judgement.  The end isn’t written yet!  If I do judge, does that contribute to an environment that pushes them towards a not so good result?

I am not sure….but it makes me think?  There have been people in my life that haveIMG_5237 judged me prematurely, and I think there has been a bit of an impact.  I am grateful though for those who have been on the other side.  The one’s that have given me the chance to change, grow and mature.  Those are the ones that didn’t write me off, but gave me the time, love and encouragement to fulfill the potential they saw and hoped to see bloom.

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