I was thinking the other day how grateful I was. We had just gotten back from a family wedding in San Diego, and it had been so much fun! It was just a moment when I was reflecting on the wedding, the love of family, the amazing time we had and how far we had come this year.
I thanked God for the peace, strength and all the good people He has put in our path to make it all happen. As I sat there I wondered, would I feel this way if the outcome hadn’t been so good? What if Mike’s health and surgery had not progressed so well? Then I remembered that we aren’t really through it yet.
Monday has passed and Mike has started radiation. Monday through Friday for six weeks…… 30 days! Now when we started talking with the Doctors about radiation, they really seemed to think that Mike would weather it well. He might have some localized hair loss and have to deal with fatigue. The only other concern was how it might affect his eyesight. Even in regards to that, they seemed to think that any kind of loss of sight was only a 1-3% chance. So no big deal right?
Well that was before the planning for the radiation took an extra two weeks! Why the delay? Well it looks like the radiation will be close to the optic nerve, and because of that they are taking extra time to plan and make sure they have it right. We pretty much assumed that was it, but it was good to hear the confirmation. It wasn’t that we wanted bad news, but it was just that we needed to know exactly where he stood.
So I guess I get to somewhat answer my question. Do I still feel grateful? Right now I can say YES with conviction. When I think of all God has done to get us this far, I can only trust that He will continue to do the same through the next step of the process.
And what about six weeks from now? Well, I hope I can say yes then too. No matter what the outcome.