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Cheryl Mendoza

How He speaks to me…..Or… can't He just call my cell when He wants to talk?

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Love

Of Fall and Friends

I was not sure why I looked, but I did.  It may be because it is fall.  I know, most people just get a pumpkin spice latte, but not me.  I become nostalgic.  It might have been because yesterday was such a sucky day.  I slept badly, and did not write till late in the afternoon.  Which means that all the crap that makes my head, spin was not written out and discarded.  It just kept rolling around in my mind till it was ready to burst.  Yesterday afternoon though, I was able to get out, grab some chai and “throw up” for lack of a better term.  I just write down everything in my head and see if I can use any of what is there.

autumn-leaves-smoky-mountains

For some reason this morning, I did not go back to it.  I was feeling nostalgic again and so I did look up some information on my elementary school.  I was trying to picture people and some of the things that shape my memories.  It was then that I looked.  In this day and age of the internet you can find just about anyone, or at least some bit of an electronic trace.  So during childhood I had many friends on and off, and I still keep in touch with a few.  There is one though, that I truly lost touch with. We met during elementary school, continued through Junior high and into the beginning of high school. At some point, we grew apart?

115847-113843Today for some reason, I Googled her name.  OK, so I looked her up through Yahoo, whatever!  When her name
came up, so did a lot of pictures.  Some were of other people, but then I saw her face.  Older, with darker hair but beautiful.  I looked into the face of a person that I remember with fondness, I looked into the face of a person that I loved.  Now get your minds out of the gutter, not that kind of love.   The kind of love you have for a family member that, even though you haven’t seen them for a while, you feel like they had never left your side.

So what do you do when you find someone on the internet?  You of course cyber stalk them.  Do not get the wrong idea, I was not going to camp out at her house or anything.  I went and looked in the usual places for information, FaceBook and Twitter.  I looked for pictures of her, of her family, any information as to where she lived and what she was doing after all these years.  It was exciting to see that she is an actress.  It was something that made sense, in relation to the girl I once knew.  I guess the tap, jazz, acrobat and Hawaiian dance lessons had paid off for her.  I always laughed when she went through the litany of dance classes she had taken, and even with what I listed, I am probably still missing some of them.  As you can imagine, I was a more than a little envious of her training.

autism-puzzle-piece-clip-art-cliparts-co-lilgLt-clipartIt makes me happy to know that she is well.  I remember long conversations when we were younger, but I don’t remember the details.  I cannot put my finger on the why, all I know is what my heart tells me.  All I know is that finding out this new information, is like a piece of a puzzle.  It all seems to fit.   I love fall and the thoughts of old friends.

 

 

Eat, Rest and Seek

So my son called last night.  He calls when things are really good, or when they are really stressful.  So last night’s call was because of stress.  It has to do with his living situation and some from his job, so he was calling for some encouragement and direction.  Funny thing was, I gave him the same advice that I always do.  Why?  It is the only thing that works for me, and he is my son, and the apple don’t fall far from the tree.  Lord help him!  So what did I tell him?  Do good things for yourself! 

IMG_3126 When I mean good things, I am always talking about the same three things.  Rest, food and some spiritual nourishment.  It is amazing what I can handle when I am fed, rested and got some God in me.  Likewise, when I am low on those three, it is amazing to see what I cannot handle.  Even the simplest of days become too hard to handle.  It is scary how weak I can actually be?  Continue reading “Eat, Rest and Seek”

Little bit of heaven

Ok.  It all started on Thursday when I went to meet a new friend.  This came about after really feeling a need to find some wisdom in this way off kilter world.  So I did something atypical for myself, and I went to go meet someone new.  I am just trying to turn over all sorts of new leafs (leaves?).  I had sent out an email to a few of the Pastors in town, inviting them to answer some of my questions.   Thursday I went to go and meet my first victim, I mean pastor. Continue reading “Little bit of heaven”

Tap dance as life.

Viva La Revolution!!  And I do not mean some kind of violent upheaval, I mean the spinning around till you get back to the start.  That is where I am today, back to getting some tapping done.  I am trying to be mindful of everything that is going on in the world, but life goes on.  And isn’t that why we continue to address the same issues?  Life must go on.  I have to work, pay bills, care for my family, exercise, eat right and try to encourage/instruct my children.  (still!!)

I was tapping this morning (yikes) and I found that one step was really hard for me, because of one little problem.  I was having a hard time with my weight on my heel and bringing my other foot off the floor.  It was all a matter of balance.  I felt awkward and terribly clumsy, but kept working on it.  After thinking it through, watching the video and practicing that one part repeatedly it finally felt better.  It probably did not look perfect, but it did feel a little more natural. Continue reading “Tap dance as life.”

Where is justice?

So today as I watch the news and watch officer involved shootings, I am…?  I am not even sure.  I am angry and upset.  I am so sad that families will be going through the emotional roller coaster, that is now their new normal.  I am tired of seeing the same bad decision making, incident after incident.

I called my son, because I knew he would be angry.  As I spoke with him, I tried to work through what I was thinking, while giving him what I hoped would be wisdom.  So I told my son that the best way we can do something at this point would be  personal.  (At this point, I had a whole paragraph of some of the things that I think need to be addressed, but trying to keep opinion out and see what God teaches me through this.) Continue reading “Where is justice?”

How do I respond?

How do I respond?  That is becoming my favorite question nowadays.  It is a question that I love, because I think it takes a lot of pressure off of me.  I do not tend to respond quickly, I try and ask the question first, and then wait for an answer.  Hopefully there is time to get that answer, but thankfully, when time is not on my side God seems to be bringing answers even before the questions are asked.

I got a text last night from a friend, and she was heart sick.  You see, she saw a pastor on YouTube, speaking to his congregation about the horrific nightclub shooting in Orlando.  He had no compassion for the dead or wounded, and he expressed his happiness over their deaths.  She texted me because I am her friend and she felt she could trust me.  I am glad about that.  I am also glad that in the past couple of years I have tried to read, listen, and learn more about Jesus.  In doing that, I felt able to speak to her last night, and I hope that she was comforted.

How do I respond?  I will always try to ask the question, or see if I have already gotten the answer.  Wait what if I don’t know?  How do I respond?  I guess I am just going to make a  default setting, command L.  Respond in Love!

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