So day 2 is always hard. I always wonder, what will I write about now? I also feel behind the eight ball because I am tired. Taking care of someone can be tiring. Part of it is physical, but it’s also a mental tired. Since I tend to overthink things, I am sure that is a lot of it! There is a spiritual aspect to it too. The word “spiritual” makes it sound very serious, but it really hasn’t felt that way.
The spiritual in our journey has included a lot of laughter. Just to give you a little background, my hubby started having headaches that progressively became worse over the last half of 2018. He never really had headaches as a rule, so we felt that something was up. He started missing out on work, and it was really affecting how he was able to live his life. To see him get weaker and become a bit like a little old man, it was hard to watch. So you can imagine the excitement when we had a diagnosis. A brain tumor? All right! And he can have surgery? Fantastic!
I can remember watching his face as he talked with the doctor that Saturday morning. It lit up like Christmas! We had just been given a present. It was hope! With that hope, what was ahead held no concern. We knew that it was all out of our hands, so we rested in those who took care of him. The nurses, doctors and God.
At some point I thought of the verse that is quoted so often, “peace that passes all understanding.” At that point I totally got it. I mean really, brain surgery? This is serious stuff, but we wanted it! We had peace though, and I really didn’t understand how we could be feeling that way? I didn’t argue though, it was a place I was glad to be.
The neurologist gave us an idea to fastrack the whole thing. So he called a doctor at the local emergency room to get us in. My hubby was so excited, we would go to the ER and they would transfer us to a larger hospital. It would be there that they would see the big mass in his head and they may even do surgery this weekend. Isn’t it great? There was not one tear, one moment of hesitation or fear. We looked at each other shook our heads with smiles on our faces.
It wasn’t long till we got ready and were walking up to the emergency room. Before we got in I asked my hubby, “who are we supposed to see?” He looked at me with a smile and said, “Doctor Martin.” When I heard that we both started laughing and I knew it was going to be all right. Doc Martin is a TV show we watch, and the doctor is such a character! And of course as soon as the doctor came in we had to greet him as “Doc Martin.” The doctor laughed…..he knew exactly who we were talking about! I always knew God had a great sense of humor and today He proved it again!
You know, sometimes this writing part of my life is not easy! I try to come up with something interesting, or thought provoking, not preachy and above all not too opinionated. I try to frame what I write as my experience, and hope it either encourages or at least gives someone a different perspective.
phone call I got last night. I am typically the one who is messaging or talking to someone to encourage them, but last night the call was for me. Someone wanted to ask how I was, and check up on me and the family. I appreciated it so much! And at the end she prayed for me, and it was cool because it showed growth in her faith.
Why these two topics together? Well, I guess it’s because I hear much more ”opinion” than encouragement. And since I am like most people, I tend to think we are all looking for more encouragement, love, kindness and lack of judgment than we are looking for another opinion. So today be mindful of the words you say. Be a shoulder to lean on, cry on or just be a good listener. Leave your opinions behind, and see how you can be an encouragement to someone today.
Anyway, as I sat there, in the tiniest seat ever, (ugh) I was struck by a lyric from the song Rhiannon. “Dreams unwind, loves a state of mind.” I am sure I’ve heard that sung a thousand times before, but tonight it kept rolling around in my head. “Dreams unwind, loves a state of mind.” The more I thought about it, the more true I knew it was. 
So it is only 5:36 this morning, and I am already just amazed where my mind has gone. It started as soon as I woke up. I won’t be saying why I started thinking this morning, due to HIPPA laws, but I am anticipating a more tight month with money, so I was concerned.
So as I’m sitting here, I am shaking my head, not sure of where this day will go. But yes….I’m laughing thinking that it’s going to be a crazy month full of writing, work, doctors, family, love and lots of lights…… Well it is Christmastime you know!
So I was thinking, December 1st I would be on it! But…. I missed the date. Ugh! Needless to say, it is all good, since today is officially the start of Advent. Who knew? Well obviously not me.
step carefully as I walked, making sure to navigate around the bumps and place my feet on flat ground. Why? Because I am such a clutz! Now there was plenty of good ground to step on, but I had to pay attention to make sure that is where I was walking. I took the picture because that is really how I am feeling right now. My life’s path feels a bit bumpy, so I am taking it slow trying to make it through. The picture gives me hope, as the path does eventually smooth out, and I know my life’s path will too. It is only a matter of time…..
kids. As we brought them in and worked to get them into their circle, we were running out of room. So without thinking, I said, “let’s make our circle bigger so we can let more friends in.” I heard myself saying it….and knew then that it was important. In the blog I wrote of the little slice of heaven that seemed to be pictured that day. We have a diverse group of kids… and to see them move back to let more in was amazing. It was also a little heartbreaking.
I get it…. Sometimes it is hard to keep that open spot for someone new. That open spot leaves a big question mark. Will a new person change the dynamic? Will they bring in baggage? Can I trust them? Do they have a good pot luck recipe? There are all sorts of questions, but more than likely, the answers are not deal breakers.
And I want to encourage you who are trying to find your place. It is not easy! I have
So when I received, Shine; STEPPING INTO THE ROLE YOU WERE MADE FOR, I immediately wondered what I had gotten myself into. I really felt like I had just stepped into an Andy Hardy movie and was being told that we were going to “put on a show”. As I read further, I understood why. Allison Allen is an actress who has been on Broadway, and even a featured performer on the Women of Faith tours. Now if you’ve never been in drama or wanted to be an actor, don’t worry, the analogies that she uses are so clearly presented that you don’t have to have a theater degree to understand.
Cheryl Mendoza 