Friday was a hard day. I had been out of sorts for the last few days. Maybe it was hormones, a heavy heart, work, hate pouring through the tv screen or a combination of that and more. I was blue I guess, so yesterday morning I tried to do what would put me in a better frame of mind. I read my bible and sat in the backyard in the only cool part of the day. My yard is not any kind of oasis, but there is enough growth and color to bring me peace. So as I sat there, I chose not to open FaceBook. I typically do it, so it was kind of weird for me, but I went with and hoped that it would contribute to a more peaceful state of mind.
As I sat and drank coffee, I wondered if part of my feelings were due to what we have
just went through and what is coming up. God has been so good and showing me peace, provision and presence during Mike’s surgery and recovery, but I wasn’t sure if I was still feeling like that. So as I pondered, I felt like I wanted to go back to that time. No… not Mike going through pain. More like I wanted my trust to go back to God, in all things. To really live my life. I have felt fear creeping back in over things that don’t even matter, and I knew I was returning to an old way of reacting. My mind went to an upcoming trip we’ve planned and are so excited about. It’s not till the end of September, and I was thinking, “am I going to put living on hold till then?” No! That isn’t right!
I asked God to help me resolve to identify those things that are a step backwards for me, and to help me go forward. To LIVE fully! Every day! To work hard, play hard and most important…. LOVE hard.
It was encouraging and lifted me up. God set the bar a little higher for me, helping me to look up and seek to live a life that is full and honors Him. How better can life get?
My time in the yard ended, and I got ready for work. As I got in the car, I opened my phone to sinc my music and FaceBook was open. So without thinking, I started to scroll through the feed. It was then that I saw a post that caught my eye. It was a verse:Though you have not seen Him, you love Him. Though you do not now see Him, you believe in Him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of our souls.” 1 Peter 1:8-9
Now I love the verse, but I couldn’t understand why a sad face with a tear? I don’t feel sad with that verse…. It gives me peace and brings joy of a life that comes to a full circle in faith. It really irritated me. I thought wait…. what kind of mixed message is that? Then I saw it again on another post and I realized why.
I had known her as a girl serving preschool kids with a knack for telling a story, my hubby knew her as a student athlete, and during her illness we met the young woman she had become. I will always remember the day she came to our house. Mike had set up his “photo studio” and Kay, who is a cancer survivor, came to offer encouragement to a young lady fighting her own battle. We all talked about her treatment, school, photography among other things. Faith and hope were sprinkled in the conversation, that included lots of smiling and laughter.
And as I sat in my car, I realized why I hadn’t looked at FaceBook that morning. God wanted to give me an example of what he was showing me. The right perspective before I heard the news. While she was so young, her life was well lived. She had used it to funnel love, grace, laughter and faith to those around her. And in that life, we see the truth of what God is encouraging us all to do. Live your best life through Him.