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Cheryl Mendoza

How He speaks to me…..Or… can't He just call my cell when He wants to talk?

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Lemoore

Doing what I gotta do…..

So today I worked on finding an illustrator.  It may not sound hard, but it was.  Unfortunately, I probably am to blame for that.  I tend to overthink things, and try to figure out the odds before I even make the attempt to do something.  It is a self-defeating cycle that I tend to go through with many things, but I always do it when I am scared.

I should be really happy.  I am done with my picture book, frankly I have been done for a while, and I am just trying to find an illustrator.  So what is so hard about that?  Well, it seems that I am just a big chicken.  Fear eats at my soul, it runs that deep.  And it sucks!  I am tired of the fear, but it just continues to rear its ugly head continually.  I am beginning to feel like this post is a therapy session, I guess I should be laying down for this. Continue reading “Doing what I gotta do…..” →

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Steps to follow…

For a long time, I regretted that I did not talk to my great grandmother about her life.  She was 99 years old when she passed away, and while  alzheimers ate away at the last few years of her life, I still had plenty of opportunity to talk to her.   The thought that this sweet lady would have firsthand accounts of history never even occurred to me.

UnknownI have thought about this regret at various times in my life, and it typically makes me pretty sad.  Her birthday is St Patricks day, so thoughts of her came to mind again.  This year though, I found that my perspective had changed.  You see, what I finally realized was what she did teach me was worth much more than what she didn’t.  It was pretty funny, because I have always known what an example of love she was to all who knew her.  This year though, I realized why everyone loved her so much.  Well, it was because she loved us!   Warts and all!   She loved us all so much, that we couldn’t help but love her back! Continue reading “Steps to follow…” →

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The good, the bad and the idol…..

deut5-8So I have a question this morning.  Do you have idols?  It was something that I was
pondering with my hubby last night.  Why?  Well it had something to do with the city of New Orleans removing some statues and the discord that it is causing. There are people that think it is about time to get rid of them, and some who are obviously distressed with them being torn down.

And while I could care less to some degree, it just made me think.  Is this a reason why God said do not make any idols? Continue reading “The good, the bad and the idol…..” →

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Ready for my close up….

img_4817I have a new office.  Well, it is actually one of the same old bedrooms in our house, but we have given it a major overhaul.  It has been cleaned and painted from top to bottom, adorned with a new desk, rug and drapes.  The things that were in this room are coming back in one at a time.  With each item, I am taking the time to see if I truly need it or not.  This room had previously housed our computer, desk and other “office” stuff.  It had also become a catch all for everything else.  When that happened, it became a room that I did not like.  There were things in the room that did not belong, and other things that needed to be addressed, but could be ignored because they were hidden in the chaos.

 

As I sit here enjoying the fruits of my hard work, I know the room is a metaphor for my life.  Every so often, God sharpens my vision and gives me a clearer view into my heart.  He lets me see the mess that has accumulated and not only does He give me the desire to clean it up, He gives me the ability to do it.  How do I make this connection between this room make-over and my life?  Well it has to do with two things.  Provision and insecurity.  These are two fears are the stumbling blocks in my life, but with each new day, God is giving me the will and the way to overcome them. Continue reading “Ready for my close up….” →

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Out of balance…

images-3Balance has been on my mind.  Some of it has to do with the political news, some with my life, but I decided to write about it because of a news story about the Wallenda family.

You know who they are?  The crazy people on the high wire, that for over 95 years have thrilled and scared  the …well you know what….out of people.  All at the same time!  This week while they were practicing for a show in Florida, they attempted an eight person pyramid.  I say attempted, because they didn’t complete the stunt, as one of the performers lost their balance and fell.  Some wereimages-2 hurt, and thankfully all will recover.  As soon as this horrific event happened, they immediately started looking for a cause.  The most likely culprit was the rigging, and it was the first thing they checked, but they discovered it wasn’t the rigging.  They determined that it was the most simple, yet most important thing in an aerial act.  Balance.

One of the performers lost their balance.  It may have been a little, or a lot?  I have a feeling though, in that kind of stunt it doesn’t matter.   On the high wire, it’s all about balance.  As I read the account of the fall, I thought it was pretty good word picture.  Life it seems is all about balance.

 Whenever the king consulted them in any matter requiring wisdom and balanced judgment, he found them ten times more capable than any of the magicians and enchanters in his entire kingdom.  Daniel 1:20 NLT Continue reading “Out of balance…” →

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Good News, Great Joy, All People!

images-2.jpegSo to make a long story short, I have a bit of a new purpose statement for this new year.  It really kind of came to me a little before Christmas, and it seemed to make an impression for multiple reasons.  I actually could not get away from it because it is a bible verse that is part of the traditional Christmas story.  Wow…this short story seems to be getting longer by the minute!

But the angel reassured them.  “Don’t be afraid!” he said.  “I bring you good news that will bring great joy to all people”.  Luke 2:10

I was looking for a verse to make some wall art, and this one popped onto my radar.  I knew it would be awesome, so I would use “Glad Tidings, Great Joy” on a picture.  It is actually one of my favorite verses out of the Christmas story, because of a church production that I was in many moons ago.  One of the children said the line, like sixteen times, over the two weeks that the show ran. “I bring you glad tidings of great joy!”  Every time he said that part, we laughed.  The way he emphasized the words was so …joyful!  To this day, the memory still makes me happy.

This time though, I was struck by a different note in the verse.  It was the end that seemed to jump off the page and stick in my mind. I totally remember the “glad tidings and great joy” part, but I didn’t remember hearing the “all people”? At that point, I was thinking that something important was missing from my project.  The “all people” was not something that I felt could be left off the photo.

images.pngWhy?  Well maybe it was a reaction to this whole year of anger, fear, with so much talking and not enough loving.  In this past year of election noise, I wondered if that proclamation of “good news” was clearly heard?  Did I see “great joy” when I looked in the mirror?  Or in the church pews?  And were “all people” able to hear and see those things?  We may have thought so, but in watching and listening, I really wasn’t so sure?

Continue reading “Good News, Great Joy, All People!” →

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Lost on SR155

So it is Saturday, and that means my hubby wants to practice with his new camera.  The thing about that is, he always wants me to go with him.  He was disappointed this morning, since I had an appointment at 9:00 and that means any day trip wouldn’t start till after 10:00.  We are kind of a get up at the crack of dawn and miss the traffic kind of travelers, so waiting till that late in the morning was hard for him.  I think I made it up to him though, as I got us a bit lost which gave us a bit more of an adventure.

We were supposed to be heading to the Tule Elk State Nature Reserve, but I got it mixed up and we ended up at the Kern National Wildlife Refuge.

The place where we wound up was closed, can you imagine?  It was only open for the duck hunters, which is not the kind of shooting we do.  We made a note to come back, especially when a big hawk flew over us moving from a tree to a telephone pole.  It was amazing!

So I attached a few pictures.  Since I had steered us wrong, I knew I had to make it up to him.  So I told him he could drive, and he did.  We wound up going into the foothills on SR155.  We saw blue sky, the small town (?) of Woody, beautiful green valleys and cowboys.  It was a wonderful day.  We now know a great route to drive for some beautiful scenery and two places that we will visit in the future.  More places to explore, and more pictures to take. dsc_0914

 

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Christmas traditions….

So I was a little sad on Sunday night.  My hubby’s cousin is a music pastor, and they were having the last performance of their annual Christmas program.  It brought back memories of previous years, and the annual tradition of Round the Table Carol Sing.

That was the name of the Christmas program at our previous church.   It was a huge undertaking of music, drama, sets, and a whole lot of Burnt Almond Cake.  There was a contemporary story, that was mixed in with a retelling of the story of Jesus birth.  What I remember most about Carol Sing was the reaction of those who came to watch.  They were always amazed by all of the surrounding sets, lighting and costumes.  It was pretty over the top!  I was privileged to be a part of it for a couple of years.  Nothing special, just a part of the choir, except for that one year when I played a Santa Baby.  My hubby still enjoys that hazy memory.  It was such a wonderful experience.  Why?  Well, to be a part of something that brought so much joy to people was exciting.  It was something that I could not do alone, but with God and a whole group of people, amazing things happen.

So as I was putting silverware on tables at the Lemoore Christmas Community dinner, I teared up a little.  I was just feeling a little homesick.  Nostalgic.  Well since I am not a pretty crier, I quickly got myself under control and got back to work.  I was an Elf after all, and nobody likes a sad elf.  So my duties for the evening would be to help facilitate the craft and presents at a couple of tables.  Greet the families and just help to ensure that they were having a good time.  After I gave my new friends a general idea of what would happen during the evening; dinner/presents/raffles/pictures, we just started having a fun together.  Talking, laughing and teasing each other.   The kids enjoyed making their ornament and who doesn’t love some cake after dinner.

I made some extra special friends at one table.  I had some bells that I had put on ribbons a couple of years ago, and they had been hanging on my tree each year.  Before I left home, I had grabbed them and put them on my wrist.  There is nothing better than walking around jingling, much to my hubby’s dismay. Anyway, at one point during the evening, one of the girls said she liked them.  So I took them off, separated the strings and gave one to each girl.  I was very happy that I had three, how perfect was that!  I now have friends for life.

The organizers made sure that those who attended were lavished with care, food, pictures and then there was more.  They were shocked, then excited and then they were delighted by each new surprise.  At one table a fifteen year old young sat with his family.  He was a happy guy.  Those were his words, not mine.   He seemed truly impressed by everyone’s generosity and gave me a big hug before they left.  I have never met him before and may never see him again, but I will remember the look in his eyes for the rest of my life.  Their table did not open the presents they were given, so I told him that I hoped the present would be good.  I stood with his mom as they pulled tickets for the raffle, hoping she would win that gift card to Payless.   Funny how excited you can get for someone else when you are not in the raffle yourself.

One of the boys at the other table was excited.  He whispered that he had peeked into the package and the present inside was good.  Then I was excited too!  We laughed together, and I was so relieved that he was going to like what he received.

Aimg_4538s the night ended I could not believe what an amazing time I’d had.   It was then That I remembered Carol Sing.  It was that same type of feeling.  The one that comes when so many people come together and do a great work, that none of them could have done alone.  When they let generosity, hope and grace flow from God through them.  So many presents, so much food, so much time and so many people!   Those who organized this event not only provided a meal and presents, they gave those who attended a night where they were treated as honored guests.

And as for me?  Next year, no more tears.  I am excited to say that I have a new Christmas tradition.

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I am NOT…..

I AM.  God’s name.  I’ve always thought it was kind of a weird name, I mean really…. I AM.  Well of course you are…right?

It wasn’t until this week, when I was doing a script for our preK class, that I got a better idea of what it meant for me.  So as I was reading about Moses a sentence jumped out at me.  I’d read it before,  but today I really HEARD it.  d2ca09d8868423819bd7b85d27b29d6e

It  wasn’t something God said, but it was what Moses responded that  caught my attention.  God had just told Moses that he was going to bring the children of Israel out of Egypt.  Great news right?  Moses then starts arguing with God, telling him all the reasons why he was the wrong man for the job.   Moses asks, “who am I?”  And in that question, I found a different way to look at God’s name.
God is the I AM.  You can put anything you need after that statement, and it works.  I AM holy.  I AM truth.  I AM wise.  I AM peace.  I AM joy.  I AM provision.  Whatever we need, the great I AM is always the answer.  The I AM statement about God is always true, but like Moses, for me it doesn’t work so well.  As a matter of fact,  even at my best, there is always an asterisk.

I am encouraging.*  Except when I am tired, have given it all out already and haven’t sought out my own encouragement from God.

I am patient.*  Except when I’ve done all the calculations in my brain already, made a decision and have to wait for others to make theirs.

I am generous.*  Only after God has to remind me that He’s got my back, and the resources at my disposal are truly to share.

I am a good listener.*  Except when I have to listen too long.  Ugh!

These are things that I strive to be and some are even my gifts.  So it should be easier for me….right?  Well that is a definite NO!  God is all those things and more! He is anything we need, perfectly every single time!  He fulfills the purpose of His name….I AM.

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