Cheryl Mendoza

Sunday morning.  It is always interesting to see what happens on a Sunday, and as soon as I got to church, it started.  One of the songs we sang had something to do with the “power in His name”.  I actually don’t even remember what the song was, because I immediately started thinking.  I wondered, because that is what I do, if I really believed in that power?  I am still trying to wrap my mind around that whole “love your neighbor as yourself” thing again.  Just then it hit me.  The whole problem wasn’t with the loving, but with trusting.

Sovereignty.  Do I really believe that God is ruler over all?  Is He sovereign?

Well there it was.  My whole problem.  Do I trust God? Do I believe that if I use my gifts and abilities for Him, He will actually use them to change the world?  Or at least my little part of it?  While it may seem like I am belaboring the point, I am really trying to wrap my head/heart around this question.  Why?  Because if I believe it, I should take the task God has given me and run with it. Right?   And if the church believes it, why don’t we look like we do?

Jeez Louise!  I am having a meltdown in service, and we haven’t even gotten to the sermon yet.   Pastor was on vacation, so when I saw our sub for the day, I knew I was not off the hook yet.  Our substitute has a bit of the crazy in him, and I am wondering if that is just what I needed that day.

He spoke from one of my favorite passages, about one of my favorite people and about some things that I had just recently wrote about.  By this time, I was sitting up and paying attention.   He started off by speaking of his own work, with an organization that is seeking to eliminate extreme poverty.  So I guess I am not the only one tilting at windmills?

Here is a man who had put on different lenses to see the world.  Not content to let it slide by and accept what is so profane about it, but to actually do something.  And the something he was asked to do, is way beyond the measure of any man.

He spoke of Moses, out of Exodus in chapter 3.  You know the story.  God speaks to Moses from a burning bush, and gives him the job of leading His people to freedom.  A job that was beyond the measure of any man, but not beyond the sovereignty of God.

At this point, I am beginning to see a pattern.  God tells Moses that he is the man for the job. God lets Moses know that the words he speaks, will be from God.  He tells Moses His name, I AM.  As in, I AM everything you need to get this job done, so get to it!

I am back to that question; Is He sovereign?  Do I trust God?

It was then that God gave me a very up to date example.  As I was sitting in service, I watched as offering was taken.  The gentleman sitting next to me, had reached into his wallet to pull out some money.  Out of the corner of my eye, I watched as he handed each of the young girls a bill for them to put into the offering plate. Now I know this family, and I know that none of those girls were children or grandchildren.  I have no idea who they were?  But I did see how they were treated.  Just like his own family.  And in the face of the little girl?  She looked back at him with adoration.  I think she trusted him.  When he gave her the money, she did not want to keep it, she let go of it willingly.  Giving joyfully.  I thought to myself, that only happens when you know you are taken care of.  When you’re not fearing what may be coming next.   As I thought about it later, it gave me such a picture of God.  There He is, reaching into His infinite resources, giving us abilities, gifts, money, position and influence so that we can offer them back to Him.  And when we all do, the effect can be exponential.

At this point, I have to answer yes!  I trust Him, but I will probably continue to have times of doubt.  And when I do, I know I have a memory to fall back on.  A smiling face looking back, ready to take what she has received and share it with others.  That is the face that I want God to see on me and all it will take, I hope, is a little trust.