Sunday morning. It is always interesting to see what happens on a Sunday, and as soon as I got to church, it started. One of the songs we sang had something to do with the “power in His name”. I actually don’t even remember what the song was, because I immediately started thinking. I wondered, because that is what I do, if I really believed in that power? I am still trying to wrap my mind around that whole “love your neighbor as yourself” thing again. Just then it hit me. The whole problem wasn’t with the loving, but with trusting.
Sovereignty. Do I really believe that God is ruler over all? Is He sovereign?
I have had a love affair with history since I was young. I have gone through different stages, where I have read everything I could about various eras. I hate to say it, but I am fascinated by war. To tell you the truth I am really not sure why?
So my husband was teasing me. I know that is not surprising, but he doesn’t typically get to tease me in this way. You see, I do not tend to use profanity. Actually, I don’t even use it as all, except on those rare occasions when it slips out under duress. Or sometimes to shock my children. Anyhow, he was giving me a bad time because I had used two cuss words in a small story that I had written. It was not a big deal, but I did it because it made sense for the character. That is of course, if sea otters could talk. 
What happens when in one day, you are going from the mid eighties to the mid ninties, after weeks of the mid seventies? You head to the coast. And when your hubby wants to take sunrise pictures, you get up at dark thirty so that you can make it to the coast before the sun comes up.
At 3:30 this morning, I was really not in the mood to worry about my own camera, so I just decided to use my iphone. I snapped a good amount of pictures, but not too many. It had been a long week. My brain had been on overload and I wanted to spend some time just enjoying the beauty that surrounded me. 
His love is. I know that seems really silly, of course His love is important. I mean really, He so loved the world. This is Jesus 101. Where the problem lies is not if I “get it” or not, but if I really choose to accept it and just do it.
You know this writing thing is not all that it’s cracked up to be. I sit, I ponder and usually out come words. Then I am stuck. No, it’s not writers block, I just know that I am going to start deleting words. I guess it keeps me humble? So I’m gonna start where I think God wants me to, and delete those other 400 words.
holds up a mirror. And instead of taking a breath and looking full into that mirror, you glance over thinking you know what it shows and just give a nervous giggle. I don’t know when I stopped giggling and started being sad, but it happened at some point.
Cheryl Mendoza 